Retarded Rit.

2012

2012-01-08T23:56:00.002-05:00

2011 was quite a year for me! It had its ups, its downs. I don't even want to list them off because I've been a broken record. But I recently saw a status recently regarding New Years. It said something like "Why are you guys going to try to change yourself just because the New Year? It's not like you are actually going to change anyways! Fake!" Something like that anyways. I think the language was definitely more ghetto.

But that status bothered me. Because why can't we change? I mean, sure it is weird that we choose an artificial day to create resolutions that most of us drop in a week. But what other holiday inspires us to change who we are? A lot of holidays are about giving thanks for what we have, and I do appreciate those holidays. But no other holiday tells us to change for the better.

So I think it's a good time to reevaluate my life. My New Year's Resolution: Be happy. This probably means get better grades, socialize more, and sleep more. Sure, I can't be perfect. And this will probably mean the death of playing Starcraft, my one love this past year. But I think it's time to be serious about this. No sense in being depressed about the past, it may be easier to be depressed but it achieves nothing.

So good luck to everyone on their resolutions! Best wishes for this year!

So good luck to everyone on their resolutions.

The Winter Update

2011-12-02T10:23:00.002-05:00

I know I never blog, sorry guys! My life isn't all that interesting on a day-to-day basis and if I tried to do a weekly thing, I'd probably just rant all the time and not appreciate the good things. But this semester has been (generally :P) wonderful!

I made Symphonic Winds! There are three band classes at USC, from lowest level to highest level, there is University Band, Symphonic Winds, and Wind Ensemble. I did my first audition into these ensembles in August and jeeeze that sucked. Not having band class during the summer and no access to my own instruments pretty much destined me to have the worst audition in the history of mankind. So got stuck in University Band for the Fall semester. But then for my second audition in November, I got into Symphonic Winds!

It has its ups and downs. It means I improved, but I feel auditions don't really represent a person's ability to play in an ensemble. Auditions just show one's ability to prepare an etude. Of course it does show technique and dedication, and perhaps I only have that notion because all my previous auditions just lead to 2-day honor clinics, where sight reading should be prioritized more than etude preparation. So I feel bad for knocking some people out of Symphonic Winds into University band :\.... But oh well.

Also, Symphonic Winds makes me have to take an 8:25 class -.-.... the one thing I tried so hard to avoid this semester.

As far as other classes go, just glad I'm done with "The Death of the Book"! And Chinese is amazing! I mean, I get scared each day that I'm not prepared for the class and sometimes I go in thinking "oh my gosh.... what are words?", but when I do well, it's the most amazing feeling in the world. I really wish I had the same feeling for Spanish back in high school, I suppose a lot of it depends on the teacher but still, I feel bad for not continuing on with Spanish.

And marching band is over! I can actually attempt to have a social life now! I went shag dancing last night with my friends, and I realized I am absolutely terrible at keeping in time with music, weird isn't it? But it was a lot of fun ^^

So that's my life. Hopefully exams won't murder me.

Story From a Band Director....

2011-10-12T22:17:00.001-04:00

From my old marching instructor from Southside who's a band director now!

Me: "Ok, so what's in the key of F?"
Student: "1 Sharp."
Me: "Um, ok. Which sharp?"
Student: "F Sharp."
Me: "Um, ok? Spell your F scale then."
Student: "F sharp, G..."
Me: ::blink blink blink:: "Uh...so you started your F scale with an F sharp?"
Student: "Yeah...um, I don't get it."
Me: "Obviously..."

Made my day =D

College!

2011-10-08T00:02:00.001-04:00

Oh world, what can I say about college? So much but so little, I couldn't possibly say all my feelings in one post but one post is all the time I have.

College has been such a toss up. Exciting, depressing, stressful, everything really. I remember in May when I posted Facebook statuses saying how excited I was about making snare drum in the marching band. These days, I go day by day, wondering when they're going to kick me off the snare line. Music history is boring as ever, I can hardly stay away during music theory, and sight singing is fun but I get extremely nervous when performing by myself.

My two non music classes are fun, for the most part. Chinese is great, it's the first foreign language that I've actually enjoyed studying. We learn simplified characters so it's not too bad, but we still have to write the traditional ones 5 million times x_x.... And my Chinese class is located on the opposite side of the campus from my music class and I have 15 minutes to get there, so my tongue is normally tied up in the morning, smh.... But my other course "Death of the Book" deals with the physicality of books and the medium of text and print as a whole, and it's alright. Though I used to take a nap after school back in high school around the time the class starts, so I'm usually dozing off in class. Quite a bad habit.

Which brings me up to another thing. I've been a caffeine addict. It's so bad, I used to criticize people who had coffee/tea every morning, but now that I have a Starbucks on the bottom floor of my dorm and Einstein's Bagels have a bagel and a coffee under the meal plan, I'm slowly getting more and more caffeine. But I'm trying to not become too dependent on it, it just tastes alright and is convenient when you have 8 am classes every day -.-....

Also, turns out I learned how to play drums completely wrong. And I have 3 teachers, one for drumset, one for concert playing, and one for marching playing. And I have to learn 3 different techniques for each -.-.... Drumset = all fingers, marching = all arms, concert is a combination of wrist and arm, -sigh-..... so complicated.

But overall, college has been fun ^^. Get to hang out with cool new peeps, and cool old peeps (Like Eileen =D, hopefully we can get pho in Columbia that isn't terrible!), and the weather is beautiful ^^. So life can only go up!

Happiness

2011-08-29T23:14:00.002-04:00

It's been awhile. It's been awhile since I've had to deal with people who were just straight unhappy. And for all the smiles I put up, all the kindness I try to serve out, I really can't say I'm happy with myself just because I really don't know how to deal with unhappy people.

I mean, what can I say? "Things will get better, just you wait", or "That boy doesn't really see what I see in you" or any number of extremely vague sentences that mean nothing. How can I know things will get better? And what do I think I'll actually do by saying stuff like that? Like the 27th time I say that, will the cosmic fates finally align to help them?

To be fair, how can I expect to help them to happiness when I can hardly reach happiness myself? I guess only a few friends really know this. I'm bipolar as fuck. I'm an emotional train wreck. But I put on the face because it's easier than destroying all relationships in my life.

People should be happy. We should share our love and fill the world with kindness. But after all this time of our human existence in this world, we still haven't figured it out.

The Roads That Lead Back Home

2011-08-05T22:27:00.001-04:00

It has been strange with this post. I have been dying to write it, yet I also feel a sense of reluctance to do so. Probably my discomfort with change, because we are very quick to criticize change in our own lives. It is true that we bring praise to innovation but often change leaves us blind, blocking a new perspective on things.

But I digress, the real reason for this post is to explain the state of the Southside band, a thing I hold dear to my heart. Not many people care much about it, most people don't care at all about the organizations at the school, though I could be wrong, feel free to enlighten me. But I feel as though bands are the only true organization that thrives on alumni returning to help and support the newer crowd. If other groups do it, then they sort of take on a "mentor" approach, a more hands-off, let them grow thing. But student leaders really take the forefront.

And so it is sad to say Mr. Wingate is leaving to become an assistant principal at Blue Ridge High School. Which left me in a weird state of questioning what was going to happen to me, an alumni who wasn't quite sure they could return to the same environment he had grown to love. Would I be welcomed back or would things change?

The new band director is Mrs. Cloughly from Eastside High School. There were MANY nights where I would drive Eastside kids when I was Catalyst. And do they LOVE to gossip about their ex-band director and their strong.... "dislike" for her.

But I tried to be the bridge in my weird state of being: The instructor. The student leader. The brother. The son. All these sort of strange but almost methodical relationships that couldn't have turned out better, as if a guardian angel had seen what I needed and provided for me the right person to do the job. Having Mallory Linville teach me mallets and revealing to me my love of front ensemble, having Sam Studley show me that I didn't have to be that quiet kid in the background, having Mr. Wingate not own a front ensemble my freshman year so that I would learn how to play snare, having Mr. Irish teach me how to teach, and having Christopher Otte, Matt Chastain, and goodness gracious, Sam Studley again... all of them just showing me what kind of world is out there and what I could be if I just stepped out.

So I taught my first year of band camp. Even though I was always teaching throughout my high school life, it was just different. It was amazing, it was terrifying, it was nerve wrecking. I got happy, angry, sad, just everything in 3 weeks. And I nearly cried near the end. Sort of choking on my speech as I announced I had to go, off to college, an environment completely different than my family back at Southside.

But seeing people cry when they were talking to Mr. Wingate just strengthened my will to be like him. To be like all the band directors in this dying art. Because at the end of the day, we all want to be remembered. To have the moments of our lives count. And I hope that I can have the at least HALF the influence Mr. Wingate has made on all of us in the band.

So USC is just another step in my change!
5 more days....

Friendship

2011-08-03T08:52:00.003-04:00

As my number of summer days go down, I'm starting to think about how much I've missed in high school. Not just the scholarships I could have gotten or the courses I could have exempted, but the whole experience like friendship. I really took friendship in high school for granted. I remember the first week of school at Southside, sitting quietly at the senior table because our drum captain at the time invited me over. And then Karoline and Nia just randomly invited me over to eat with them and I could think was "Thank you world". So I've had great friends ever since.

But it took me until senior year to figure out how to be outgoing, how to initiate conversations own my own. But I don't know what effect this had. I always imagined that being nice and friendly would just attract friends. But people might mistake my attempts at sarcasm as jeering insults, my attempts at friendliness may feel hollow, anything I do might seem insincere.

And still, apart from small talk, I only have a few friends I keep in contact with over texts, over Facebook chat, and all that jazz. And this is why I hate when my friends go on vacation. Off to China, off to Russia, even if it's just off to Florida, you guys are a big part of my life so phrases like "I miss you" just really don't convey the extent to how much friends mean to me.

So I've decided to treat friends differently. I'm going to stop treating friends like they are just peers following the same objective like a diploma. I really want to connect. When I die, I want people to be able to say more than "He was a nice guy".

So.... USC freshman here I come with a new perspective on things! Southside, I will miss you with all of my heart. I have had a chance to Facebook chat with people in the honors dorm and I'm really excited but at the same time, all the things I'm leaving behind just tears me apart.

California!

2011-07-14T00:37:00.008-04:00

Definitely needed to write a blog. One reason being that I haven't written in FOREVER. Second, so much has happened in July, some great, some awful, but I mean, we have to roll with the punches and make the best of things right? But more on the bad news in later posts, right now, just going to focus on my vacation!

We went to California to visit my mom's side of the family, a big reunion type thing. Of course, it wasn't THAT big, compared to my dad's side of the family, whom live in a gigantic hive up in Nebraska, but considering my mom's side never gets to see each other, it was nice.

Visited the San Diego Zoo, it was HUGE. We didn't even get to see it all, mostly because we thought we were going to miss Bella's piano lesson (which we did -.-.... Traffic is murder in California and it takes approximately 30 minutes to get anywhere close to city-like society from my aunt's house). Bella, by the way, is that little girl I'm holding hands with ^^. She is the most adorable thing on the face of the planet! She reminds me of why I want to teach, though unfortunately, wanting to teach higher levels of music doesn't mix well with my desire to work with little kids, but it's a sacrifice we have to make to be realistic.

Ah my goodness, I could write a blog dedicated to her, she's amazing. Though she can be such a handful.

At a buffet
*Her mom just got done warning her to behave so she was cranky*
Bella: -.- I need to go to the bathroom
Aunt: Ok -gets ready to get up-
Bella: No, I can go by myself! -tries to act super independent in her anger-
*2 seconds later*
Bella: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

lol it was adorable and embarrassing.... But kids.... I don't understand people who don't love them.

Pandas are cool, though lazy as hell. Most pampered of ALL the animals in the zoo!

The whole family. Left to right, Aunt Quin, Maria, Uncle Nien (spelling? lol I don't know how to do phonetics with Vietnamese names), my mom, Aunt Thuy, Bella, Lily, Noah, Halston , Uncle Ahn, and me! The restaurant we were in in the photo was the Red 8 at the Wynn. We stayed at the Encore hotel, sister of the Wynn, which apparently is the nicest hotel my uncle bragged. lol, it was great, food was amazing, the scenery was beautiful. It was just great over all!

Only downside to Vegas? Really smutty :P, go figure, Sin City. We walked down the strip at night where there were nonstop car-billboards designed to advertise "Hot girls to go" and everyone was handing out cards with porn on them for a club. They only handed them out to people who looked 21+ but of course, who wants to hold those cards for THAT long? So they ended up on the streets. Literally streets of smut. Plus Halston kept nodding me towards girls, saying "Huh? Huh? Hot right?". All I could really do is awkwardly nod? lol jeeze....

Also, going when you're 18 >.>, no gambling, but whatever, fun experience. Got to see Le Reve, which was great! The stage is a gigantic pool with moving parts and platforms to accentuate certain parts of the show and people were diving from miles up. A water wonder spectacular. PLUS LIVE MUSIC! LIVE DEMONIC WARSOUNDING MUSIC! Ah it was glorious, my favorite part when some of the tricks got a little redundant! (Don't get me wrong, it was amazing, but how many variations of a dive can you do? :P)

Helicopter ride in the Grand Canyon! I really wanted to walk through it but jeeeeezzze it was hot. And the view was AMAZING. Maria was taking photos, and she didn't get too many but it's really one of those things you must see for yourself because these small photos really can't convey how jaw dropping the scenery was!

So California was great! The funny thing about going to California is hearing the natives complain about the 70 degree weather. I had expected it to be blazing hot but noooo.... San Diego is perfect weather.

But the trip was not all perfect, unfortunately..... Halfway through the trip, I get on Facebook and see a status update from Mr. Wingate....

"I just did the hardest thing I've ever had to do... I just emailed all of my students and parents to let them know I've been offered and accepted the position as Assistant Principal at Blue Ridge High School for the coming school year. OMG... I'm going to miss the kids, parents & faculty at Southside more than they will EVER know... but I'm also excited about the new phase of my career."

Trip nearly ruined because of that. There are so many thoughts in my head about it and his new replacement. But those shall be addressed in another post..... Ah the good, the bad, life :P

Starcraft

2011-06-09T11:07:00.002-04:00

So I've always had this strange fascination with Starcraft. I admit, I'm not strategist. Hell, win or lose, I'm lucky whenever I finish a game of chess. But the culture around Starcraft is just so interesting. I mean, you only have to watch 15 seconds of the video to know that Starcraft is something huge. (The actual game starts at 4:50 btw, very good game =D) There apparently are two leagues, the Major League Gaming community (MLG) and the Global Starcraft League (GSL) which is based in South Korea, and the winner of the GSL tournaments can get $85,000 >.>

So before I even had the game, I would frequently watch commentaries of other people playing. I wouldn't understand any of it but all the excitement and instant analysis was so thrilling! And now that I have the game, I just have one comment about the game....

You can play a 45 minute round and STILL not come out any better than you were before >.> My goodness, thankfully they have a practice league but just seeing these people go at it like these videos is just ridiculous.....

Short post, much too lazy in the summer and not much happening x_x

The Best Things in Life

2011-05-25T09:04:00.015-04:00

It's the last Friday of my high school career. Which is crazy, it feels like this whole ride has been going on for forever.But all good things (and bad things but we won't mention those :P) come to an end. I feel bad that I haven't consistently been writing about these things when the feelings were fresh in my head but in retrospect, I probably would have written encyclopedias on what I've experienced if I wrote about them back then. So I decided to take a different route and use pictures in place of the 1000 words I would have rambled on about.

Ok, not really a picture >.>. Catalyst Percussion's first year in existence. And I missed out on a lot of their competitions! Missed the 2nd one because of my Furman audition. And then I was planning on participating in World Finals after flying in from a scholarship interview (which I didn't get, dumb me -.-, oh well) but they didn't make Finals! Apparently they had a tear in the timing front to back, which sucks because we had great runs in rehearsal that the world never got to see. But man, I don't even regret flying to Ohio and not getting to perform at World, it was the best weekend ever up there. Great people, everytime Zach starts singing Rick Roll while playing AND dancing, I can't help but smile!

The video was taken from Rob Dyrdek's skate park, which explains the skaters running through our run of the show :P The video really doesn't do the live performance justice and someone took down the video of our performance at CIPA (Percussion organizations are evil) but man, by the end of the second movement, I'm the happiest guy on the planet.

Got to see Palmetto Percussion in the lot! Bunch of BAMFs. They won World last year, they landed 13th this year. Some Mauldin kids are in this group, pretty awesome. Love how they always stay in character, even when getting awards!

Went to prom with the beautiful Stephanie Chiu <3. After having some difficulty with everyone getting on time, like Amit running out of gas on the way to the park -.-, and Stephanie's parents mistaking me for someone who knows Chinese (and her dad thought I could speak Vietnamese so he shared some phrases with me, which was very epic even if I couldn't verify a thing he said!). Had delicious Thai food at Lemongrass and attempted to dance even though I felt fat and sleepy after eating. Prom itself was kind of meh but loved spending time with all my friends.

Holding hands by the firepit + just chilling with friends > prom itself

AP Music Theory, by far one of the most ridiculous exams I've ever taken, seconded only by the absolute impossibility of the AP Calculus BC exam! In retrospect, had we taken less jumping pictures, we would have probably been better prepared :P Haha jk, loved this class. Even if I failed the AP, it would have been worth it to chill with these peeps and do Lady Gaga A Capella ^^

My cousin, David, had a wedding this past weekend. Shortest wedding ever, lasted like 20 minutes and right afterwards, they went to go get icecream at the icecream truck driving past the wedding. The reception was great, got to dance with my adorable cousin Bella! (No photos, sorry :\) and got to eat a Mario themed cake! Gamer cousins, what are you going to do with them....

Same weekend, traded over from my mom's side of the family and got to see my dad's side of the family! From left to right, me, Mai, Anna, Maria, Theresa, and Lily. These kids are great, spent the time before our flight back home playing random hand games. I even invented a game for them to play called Silent Ninja, where you just lay down and try to not laugh while someone does random stuff, whoever lasts the longest wins! Bwahaha yes, it was pretty idiotic but good gosh, the boys got me tired and I needed to lie down and it worked! I should be a kindergarten teacher!

Had Jones Bros Cupcakes with the family. They do an epic promotion where they advertise a secret flavor of the day on Twitter and whoever asks for it gets one free ^^. They were delicious! Plus now I can say I've been to a place shown on the Food Network!!! Even if I don't much care for Cupcake Wars as a show :P

lol this didn't even happen this year. I just thought it was an adorable picture. The girl in the green swimsuit is Theresa, the girl in the blue shirt from two photos up, Maria is in the middle, and I'm on the right! I just can't believe how much time has passed.

So I have to say, I'm not super excited about graduation, at least, not to the extent that these other kids are. No, when I have to say good bye to stuff like this, it's pretty hard to not want to stay like this forever. But it's cool, most exits are entrances to a new way of life and I'll be sure to cherish all the old friendships and share those memories with my new ones.

A Small Note..

2011-05-17T23:04:00.002-04:00

Some people like being super extravagant with gifts and go on super amazing dates but it's really these small things in life that make all the hardships worth it.

The Game

2011-05-10T21:51:00.002-04:00

I'm not an avid chess player, although I do enjoy the game. The thought process that goes into my mind is "Hey, you have a chess board in your house! We should play!" Something about the clicking of the heavy pieces against the aged board just attracts me. The limited square of the board but the infinite variety of positions is just one of those things that astounds me.

As I pull back the chair to greet this familiar battlefield, I slowly begin to realize that I really have no idea what I'm getting into. As often as I come to play the game, everyone is different and it's like going back to square one. So I play it cautiously, using my usual openers and seeing how they react.

The middle game is usually more interesting. We become comfortable, moves take longer, and the game is no longer about the game. We exchange pieces and we jest about our frustration with the other, but it's all in a friendly nature. I'll hide my discomfort, smile on my face, and take my silent victories when I can.

And as time ticks on, the seconds becoming minutes, the minutes becoming hours, you realize that you're at the end game. Usually, I sit there with my head in my hands, thinking how it could come to this. The worst feeling comes from knowing you could have saved it all two moves ago. My friend turns into this image of evil who's bent on destroying me. And when all seems lost, I knock over my king, shake hands, and help pack up the pieces, and go home. We'll still be friend, but the chess board goes back into the cupboard, and we'll forget we ever played.

But on rare occasions, I'll meet that person who simply fascinates me. Their sympathy and humility makes the end game enjoyable, as if the middle went on forever. And I'll return the next week to play again, despite the rarity of my wins. Because, win or lose, domination or draw, just the time with that person makes the tediousness of the game all worth it.

I don't like interviews....

2011-04-27T22:51:00.002-04:00

I had an interview for a scholarship recently. It was actually on the day of WGI World Prelims and I had to miss the performance. I was torn between trying to decide between the interview for a chance at $3000 and following my dream of performing at World Championships. Unfortunately, neither worked out. I didn't get the scholarship and Catalyst had a time tear in the show, so unfortunately they didn't make finals >.< (Eventually I'll recap my wonderful amazing weekend in Ohio but I'm just so lazy)

But interviews.... How can I express myself in 20 minutes without music? I can talk all day about the programs I make, the music I've composed, the lessons I've taught, but in the end, these people won't understand how passionately I feel about the things I do.

I guess in the end, I'm mostly just mad that there's really no way to gauge how I'm doing in this world after interviews. After an audition, at least a score sheet will scream at you and let you know you were wrong. But an interview ends with a few fake smiles and good byes and wishes to see you in the future, a promise with no basis until the last applicant finishes. So I'll always be in the dark, wondering "what if..."

For when I'm down...

2011-04-08T00:28:00.002-04:00

I know a lot of kids are getting acceptance letters and to them, I say congrats! But to those who aren't as happy, whether its about college or not, I thought I'd share some tasty beats to cheer you up.

He's so good >.< He works for the Blue Knights drum corp.

Catalyst

2011-04-03T20:14:00.004-04:00

This is what I've been doing with my life :P Wish I could get a video from CIPA championships, we got first place, but my goodness, they love to really jack up prices for OUR performances! How can you charge us to see our own performance?

Also, this was awhile back. I finally figured out yesterday how to really emote how I wanted to. The first movement is about the creation of the universe, the second movement is about the creation of life, and the third is about the implosion of the universe :P Which I got the first and third down pretty easily. But the creation of life..... something about it was just weird. So this video, I look more contemplative. But when I performed yesterday, I felt absolute pure joy. Just being with friends.... Could really be our second to last performance, just giving it my all, just felt amazing.

"Power is like being a lady....

2011-03-30T22:55:00.002-04:00

If you have to tell people you are, you aren't"
-Margaret Thatcher

This actually came as the quote of the day at Southside once, and normally I'm not too fond of their choices for quotes of the day, but this one struck me as mildly mind provoking. And in this season, as marching band officer applications are coming in, it really made me wonder...

What kind of leadership will the future hold?

Of course, I speak specifically for the band, but really, it applies to any organization. It just really bothers me when some people reach for applications or shout to the world that they are going to apply. I must ask them "What have you done for this band program?" You do not become a leader just because you answered interview questions the best. You do not become a leader just because you have had time in the program. You become a leader because you have something to provide for the rest of the band, because you have the patience to put in the time and effort to make sure that everyone is putting in their fair share of time and effort.

When I came to Southside, we had a terrible drum captain. He never did anything, so Mr. Wingate had to take over his responsibilities. At that point, why does he need a drum captain? My sophomore year, a senior from GHS transferred to SHS, and he got the position of drum captain, due to seniority. I still taught, because I had the technical basis of leadership and he, theoretically, was there to hold down drama. Which didn't always work out unfortunately, but that's another story. It wasn't really until my junior year that I received the position of "drum captain" but what was the point? I was still doing the same thing I had always been doing, and I was still going to teach.

That's why when I see these kids who are fooling around after school, these kids who have never voiced a position in regards to music, these kids who have never challenged themselves to really push their comfort zones, I have to pray that they reconsider what it means to be an officer.

A little distraction from music for a moment...

2011-03-27T13:18:00.002-04:00

Ahh so my family went to Atlanta yesterday to buy Maria a grand piano. Unfortunately, I couldn't go, apparently they had fun eating Dim Sum :P. The best part of going to Atlanta is all the cool foods. So my family brought home a bunch of Vietnamese sandwiches.

So Sunday, sitting in front of the TV, watching the Cooking Channel (Food Network and the Cooking Channel, the only channels I watch if Avatar, Regular Show, Adventure Time, or Glee aren't on >.>) and lo and behold, Luke Nguyen's Vietnam comes on! I'd never heard of the show but I thought I would give it a try. It was pretty interesting and I actually understood what they were saying when they spoke Vietnamese =D

http://www.cookingchanneltv.com/lukes-vietnam-show-page/video/index.html

lol went online to watch some recipes and one scene had his whole family surrounding a table in the street where he was making Pork Rib Broth. And the street was giggling while his aunt was yelling, saying "BEAN SPROUTS, CHILIS, PUT SOY SAUCE IN!", and it made me smile, just seeing how food could bring everyone together <3

Performance....

2011-03-20T21:36:00.003-04:00

An old priest once told me "There's a difference between living, and existing." The words struck me when I was young, so much so that I missed the rest of the sermon trying to put my own definition into what he meant. But time passed, and I soon forgot the words that had so piqued my imagination.

Until recently I suppose. It brought up another thought of mine. The difference between reproducing sound and performing. Perhaps you will be thinking "How in the world are these two related other than their sentence structure?" And three or four years ago, I would have had the same mindset. But experience means everything in the world to performance.

2011 has been rather emotional for me. Pure joy, sadness, anger, confusion, melancholy, all of the emotions I should be having over the course of a year, packed into a couple of months. And though I hate it, I really think it has helped my musicianship.

The piece is called "Bloom" and it was composed by Steve Bryant. When I was at the USC band clinic, we performed this piece and I got the vibraphone solo. When I looked at it, I really thought nothing of it, it didn't have any sixteenth notes or crazy figures I should have been worried about.

The piece is about the birth of something. It's not happy, it's not sad, it is simple the nature of how it is. But when I performed it, I nearly broke into tears at the end of the concert. We performed it on February 20, a time after all the of the craziness of my life, and that song simply brought all the emotions I had felt over the past month with a single stroke, it was this gigantic catharsis that I sought out of my friends, but I found that the music did it all.

To this day, listening to this piece gives me the goosebumps.

And now, as we approach World Finals for Catalyst Percussion, I am always contemplating about how to perform better. The beginning of the show is about the creation of the universe and the origin of life and the end is about the universe imploding on itself. It is such a hard thing to express, contemplation, intensity. There is no happiness or sadness or anger, it is simply the nature of things.

So I will continue to live, in search for that perfect sound.....

Music Weeked ... Again...

2011-02-27T11:15:00.003-05:00

So Thursday, I filled up my car with gas. By Sunday, I absolutely annihilated all my gas. Trip to Furman, trip to Union, SC, then back to Furman, then back to Union, and then back home again. Crazy weekend....

It was fun though! Met Danielle B., the second chair player from last year again. Though I felt kind of awful, she is a much better player than I am and she's going to Furman for percussion performance so I'm always left wondering how did I make 1st and she make 2nd? I'm that kid who barely knows how to read music but I can take an audition like crazy. This is why I don't much care for honor bands. It is one thing to prepare an etude for months, it is another thing to prepare a whole concert in two days.

I thought I'd be nice and let her distribute the parts between us. It only seemed fair at the time, and she seemed to enjoy it. Until additional parts were added after the initial distribution and she got stuck with the hard ones x__x..... Felt so bad, but it was a surprisingly easy concert for me.

Went to Catalyst each night after Region band, though I have to say, it probably wasn't my brightest ideas. lol Whatever.... I had fun.

It's killing me though. Every 5 seconds at Catalyst, I hear "Dr. Vu, this is not concert band!" or "Quit whispering your music!" I don't even consider myself a concert percussionist, I would never be able to survive CYS or GCYO. But when I went to audition to Furman, Dr. Carmenates told my instructor that I had a very "indoor (drumline)" feel to my playing. It really irks me, I wouldn't say that I'm a terrible player, but I can't figure out where I am in this marching vs concert spectrum.

Oh well... I'll figure it out.... Eventually.

♥

2011-02-22T18:09:00.002-05:00

"If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with."
- Michael Jackson

Recently, I have been on a rollercoaster of emotions, depression, anxiety, confusion, happiness, anger, and everything in between. People asked me how I felt and I never could give a straight answer....

But then I realized how happy I could be when I just let go and enjoyed the world for what it is. The air is warm and the music is good... so I will just go with the flow of it. My friends are amazing, and my heart beats with the syncopated rhythms I had long lost but now found again ♥

Thank you, Stephanie, for the quote on your tumblr ♥, definitely what I needed.

Dr. Vu

2011-02-05T22:58:00.004-05:00

The minute I first came to Catalyst, some girl was calling me Richard. I was surprised no one called me David! But yes, now they call me Dr. Vu.....

Daniel, Danny, Danny Vu, Dr. Vu, Viet, Mr. Charles, all different variations of who I am. It's always strange assessing myself....

We got sheet music for concert band, and I got snare parts. I remembered looking at it and thinking "My goodness... I can actually read this on the first go around!" My mind had been so wrapped up in Catalyst music, I forgot how my own band program was. I went to All-County band, and although I sight read the music the first night pretty well, in the end, the concert was not very satisfying. At my Furman audition, they said I performed well and that I would be a perfect fit for Furman, but I beg to differ.

Who am I? Am I any good whatsoever? It always seems like people tell me I'm amazing, don't get me wrong, I love the compliments, but sometimes I feel like it's not good for my ego when I epically fail at something and then try to recover!

It's not even just about music though. Maybe I'm a terrible friend >.<, or a mediocre student, or cruddy teacher. How do I look to the friends that I have known for years? How do I look to those random people I genuinely want to become friends with but end up having only one really good introduction and end up just having passing waves at each other every once in awhile?

But I'll stay how I am for now, a small little Asian boy who has a thing for Neil Patrick Harris and loves music.... It has gotten me this far, and my friends are amazing! So.... carry on!

Drum Roll Please....

2011-01-10T10:04:00.002-05:00

Used to hate being in Mr. Roger's class while he'd present something and ask for a drum roll. I simply could not participate in such an unsynchronized roll!

Last weekend I ran home, nervous about my Region audition. I had to help Deepti with her timpani. So by the time I got home, it was around five, had to leave around 6:30 to get everything ready for camp, and I still had to get some stuff packed. So I ran through my solo once and headed off to camp.

Oh my goodness, camp was so scary. Initially, I thought my instructor was going to email me the music and I would at least get to run it on the school vibraphone. WRONG! I got the music up there so I had to immediately start jamming.

Also, it's in the middle of nowhere. Like, Taylors/Greer..... Good gosh, my GPS didn't have the housing location, so I got completely lost when I was moving from the camp to the housing, I accidentally followed the wrong person to their house >.> I'm such a creep....

It started Friday night at 7 pm and lasted until Saturday night, 11 pm. My audition was at 2:30 on Saturday, I realized this at 2 >.> and it took 30 minutes to get from the camp to the audition. I thought I wasn't going to make it, I was so pissed that I forgot. But you know, thank God for delays. So I made it on time, got a bit of time to warm up (still messed up my solo in warm up) and just played for them.

It was pretty awful. I was nervous during the scales and accidentally played some notes twice in a scale (C Major, easiest scale in the world, in theory, really freaking nerve wrecking in practice). I still had stumbles and falls during my solo. And in my 30 seconds to read the sight reading, I attempted to sight sing my etude. (Which I sang alright on!, if I do say so myself!) But you know, it's a lot different playing percussion and singing, so I absolutely sucked up that sight reading excerpt when I had to move my hands. I decided my normal approach of tapping on the keys for the second one. Did a little better >.< I'm an idiot.

I definitely thought I sucked, I definitely felt like throwing up after that audition, but I had to go back to camp. But I got first chair with an All-State callback!!! Who knows how, but I'm glad. Maria got 4th rank in the clinic band. Unfortunately, they take 2 chairs in the honor band and 1 chair in the alternate, so she will not get to play unless one of the two chairs makes it to All-State. Deepti made 3rd chair, and they take 1 chair in the honor band and 1 chair in the alternate. Both 1 away >.<, makes me so mad! Hopefully our region has pretty good mallet and timpani players that rank up so they both can play.

The strange thing about Region band is.... I hate going to Region band. Normally I love auditions (at least in hindsight) because their constructive to the independent player. But Region Band is just... I don't know, I'm always ridiculously tired by the time Region band comes, so I normally fall asleep during rehearsal >.<

Camp was wonderful, I actually don't feel like recapping all of it. There was this one funny kid who auditioned at Region as well, but he didn't know his solo so he played some music from the camp XD IT WAS REALLY HARD MUSIC! But the judges stopped him and asked him to play his solo, and he genuinely acted like he didn't know he had a prescribed solo. I laughed so hard when I heard that story. Had he known his solo, I definitely would not be writing that I got first chair but life treats me extremely well sometimes.

To those who don't know, the camp was for a new indoor percussion group called Catalyst. If you don't know what indoor percussion is, you can just watch this video ^^

The show this year is called "Entropy". It describes man's attempts to control nature but how nature ultimately reverts back to chaos. At least, I think that's what they said it was about >.<, nothing on the website about it and I had to ask someone the second day about it.

So now I'm home, a packet of music I have to learn by next week, snow day, and All-State to prepare for. The life of music is the life for me!

Love is patient

2010-12-30T21:40:00.000-05:00

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;

love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly;

it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails...But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7,13

A Happy Post ^^

2010-12-24T19:27:00.002-05:00

I spent the past two days trying to consolidate my thoughts into a blog post. They were pretty depressing, so I thought maybe I should just write a short happy one, to make Tatyana happy ^^

Io, by Ryan Laney

I've been so self absorbed recently with my college auditions. I know it's important and all but I had forgotten I play music, not because I want to make a living but because I love playing music. So I picked up a little side song to learn, something to take my mind off the college auditions and just have fun. I was looking around Youtube and this piece cost me 10 dollars, digital download so I could have it the night of. I absolutely adore songs based on permutations, the constant flow, the movement without movement, it's just beautiful. And chorales, I LOVE chorales with a passion! Perhaps it's just for marimbas but I will live with that :P

I miss other people doing blog posts. Tatyana does one every day saying one small thing that she loves about me <3, (I love how you always ask me to write a blog post about you, even though my writing is absolutely terrible, my little entry of the day), but I do miss seeing what everyone is doing.... Just to know at the end of the day, the rest of the world sits down like me, and contemplates writing a blog to feel a semblance of catharsis and relief from what seems to be a never ending down pour of life.

But I'll be happy for what I have <3

Tangency....

2010-11-11T23:10:00.002-05:00

3,2,1, go

I burst into a race to get my ideas onto the screen, fearful that they may fly away from me at any moment, that their presence was out of their pity for me and they were not my own. I had created an outline before, slowly, tediously picking the best route of action. Does it still trace back to the thesis? Of course, continue to race to the body paragraphs. Does it still trace back?

And I sit, proud of the second essay I had written. Longer in length than my first one, deeper in depth, it seemed like a good day's worth of work.

But as it came back from my sister's godmother's daughter, she said the same thing again.... "I don't understand what you are trying to say!"

How can you not understand! I thought perhaps this was a fluke, perhaps it was bias after her criticizing the first essay. My mom could not comfort me, her praise of the work meant nothing more than the fact that she could read and understand the conclusion paragraph. My stubbornness would have driven me to simply send in the essay, as is.

But my mom decided to get a second opinion from my uncle. He read it and told me almost the same thing "This is well written, but it does not answer the question."

After all my efforts, how could my essay not address the question? After two writings, how could it possibly not answer the question?

I just want my essay to burn in hell..... my goodness, why does USC have so many essays....

There are many functions in life
that I do not enjoy,
I wish I could take the derivative,
steal the small slice for boys.

These functions have no limits
functions I just hate,
functions that I simply
just cannot integrate.

Oh how I miss the straight forward lines,
whose slopes are rise over run
When you have to derivate
it really is no fun.

But I digress, it must be done
For all functions, there must be one
solution that can make the key
to unfortunately fit the line of tangency.

Another Year Goes By....

2010-10-24T22:34:00.003-04:00

It's always a wonder, my birthday and the posts that come a long with them. Perhaps I have become a little less amazed in my old age, maybe I stopped working hard, or just became more realistic? Who knows, nevertheless, it's always fun to shuffle through old blog posts and see how I've changed.

April 9, 2010
Drum Major Auditions
The Follow Up: Mr. Wingate chose both me and Coleen to be drum majors, a decision for which I am forever grateful for. We won best drum majors at the Berea and Mauldin contest, receiving a 96 out of 100 at Mauldin (4 points away from perfection, isn't that crazy? Tied for second place, and the guy who beat us had a beastly school, inevitable, the more exciting the music, the more exciting the conducting!). Unfortunately, the band didn't make it into State finals, which I shed a few tears over. We have one more contest at West Oak and I'm sure we will do fine there, but it was my senior year, I really wished I got to go to State once in my high school career.

Perhaps its my fault that we didn't go to State. I completely changed the atmosphere of the drumline by becoming a drum major. I knew that when you moved one, you would move them all. But I thought it would be a move for the good, but the instruments were new, but the show grew harder so it did not work out as planned. Nevertheless, I'm proud of them, they're finally learning how to be independent without me.

March 12, 2010
Asking Out Tatyana
The Follow Up: We always were pretty good friends before that. I used to remember seeing her at Mauldin Middle as a cute little shy girl, oh how I wish I could turn back time to ask her out then! But I was shy back then too..... So we started meeting at winter drumline this year, and eventually it came to a night where she invited me to go skating with her (at which I utterly failed at), it was cold, we were just snuggling outside, and I decided to ask her, after what seemed like forever of just being "really good friends" ^^ and I've been happy ever since!

That's my year in a nutshell. I'm trying to just remember the happy moments, I know there are a few sad but it's not something you should reflect on your birthday <3. Can't believe I'm 18, I still feel like a 15 year old. Apparently I still look like it too. But I'm happy being that cute little Asian boy that fools everyone, the appeal will wear off but I'll live being me, and that's all I'll ever want to be ^^

The Thankless Job

2010-10-22T23:23:00.003-04:00

People should live to learn about their love, love to learn about its life, and learn to live with what they love.

Yesterday, I stood in front of the class and presented (in my honest opinion, though others will disagree <3), the only semi-decent chapter in the Theory of Knowledge book: The Arts. After an initial sight reading of the outline, I stumbled through and managed to cover most of the points, and finally got to sit down to a round of applause.

The round of applause made me happy, it always makes me believe that any of my presentations aren't god awful. But it did intrigue me about my future. Although mostly everyone hates it, I do enjoy giving presentations, the thrill of getting in front of everyone and receiving applause at the end. But teaching in real life will be nothing like that. I may give the most thorough explanation of how a A Major chord progression is formed, but my students won't clap for me. Teaching is a thankless job. You will sit there and form lesson plans so that you can stay on schedule and your students will try and delay any tests or quizzes, just because they talked the first time you tried to explain it. They'll blame you for your trick questions and curse you on their Facebook statuses. They'll cheat on your homework and fail your class.

But out of the many, hopefully there will be some. And when the students begin to love what they learn, I hope it will be all worth it.

Preparing for the Audition of Life

2010-09-19T23:08:00.002-04:00

Wouldn't it be interesting if instead of all this standardized tests, all these applications, we just had a live audition for our jobs? And if you didn't make it, don't sweat it, you can try again next year!

Unfortunately, life isn't as simple as making an honor band. Though I suppose in my case, they're similar, only varying in extreme intensity. And no redos.

It's my last year of high school, and everyone is asking me "Oh, you're a senior? What are you going to do for the rest of your life?" And I suppose the story I've finally concocted up was that I'm going to USC to major in music education and minor in computer science, just in case I become a starving artist and need a second job. Perhaps I'm naive.

People keep telling me that I'll definitely get into college, it's all a matter of how much scholarship money I get.

I'm not so sure how well they know me.

I guess all my life, my only real goal was to be a silent kid that really didn't cause any trouble. I find happiness in knowing that I haven't destroyed anything and that the teacher doesn't really have to worry about me. I'm not particularly smart, I don't really have any sort of drive or motivation to excel. I feel as though learning is really just the least I can do for teachers, considering the work they put into it.

The only real passion I have is music, and sometimes I wonder. Sitting alone in the practice room, straining my eyes on music that kids on the other side of the world have no trouble with, sometimes I have to ask myself "Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life?"

But I put my questions aside. For now, I'm taking private lessons to prepare for several auditions that will ultimately determine what I do with my life. Wish me luck!

Cancun and a bunch of other random stuff!

2010-07-15T00:04:00.002-04:00

Ahhhhhh! Vacation! A trip to Cancun with mom, Maria, Lily, Aunt Jamie, Uncle Phom, cousin Bella (adorable little 2 year old!) and me to Cancun! You know, as fluent as I am in Spanish *cough cough*, we generally stayed in the resort so EVERYONE spoke English. It was fun though, rained on our way in, rained on our way out, but it wasn't too hot.

That's Bella, she's a doll. Smart and obedient surprisingly enough, for a two year old anyways. I like little kids (when they like me) so I had fun, but her mom can be strict sometimes and it can be hard to play >.<
Went to go visit Chichen Itza! Definitely a must see, gorgeous out there. Unfortunately someone died climbing the structure and it was closed off to future tourists. We always joked around, saying "Awww, maaan, why'd she have to die! Ruin it for the rest of us!" *we're just joking around, RIP Adeline Black*, a point of interest for everyone is during the equinox, where you can see a gliding snake formed by the edge of the side and the edge of the stair case behind it.

You have no idea how impressed I was of this sand replica. A man did this with his daughter, he spent a lot of the time on the center piece, she mostly did the towers :P (still impressive). On the right side of the photo, you can see the towers, directionally, all of this is pretty accurate, which I thought was pretty cool, never mind all the attention to detail.

.... Coconuts are an ongoing fascination with my family ("OMG IT'S NOT HAIRY! WTF?"). You have to pay 3 bucks to get these things to drink out of, but it's pretty delicious so..... We actually found this one on the ground after a storm >.<.... my mom is so weird...

Lots of Asian people in Cancun, Vietnamese in particular, I had no idea. Mom said it was because Vietnamese people are cheap and Cancun is cheap :P

Going to Mexico really sparked my interest in Spanish though, too bad it was too little, too late as I was already there! I did make the effort to think in Spanish, rather than English, but my ability to hold conversations is very limited. I ran into a cute little (little, I have absolutely no skill in guestimating people's ages, "she's hot" "she's 40" "oh") Chinese exchange student who I had to ask for directions. She spoke a little bit of English, but mostly Spanish, oooohhh maan..... that was a bit strange.... Oh well, at least I know how to say bacon and eggs in Spanish now....

______________________________________

Drum major camp was ridiculous! It's actually a dancer/baton twirler/color guard/ drum major camp, but Eastside High and Dorman High dancers took up most of the participants. So a lot of hot girls going around and dancing in shorts. (Mhhhmm morning stretches.... lol not really, that's embarrassing, I can't even touch my toes...) But I found them absolutely obnoxious for some reason, so I ended up hanging with the 3 color guard, and 2 other drum majors, Coleen (thank God she was there or I would have gone crazy....), and Gavin Potter from D.W. Daniel. But it was fun, we got a lot of one on one instruction.

Basically they teach us during the day, and we get evaluations at night. Which is a little scary, my mind was always racing like "Umm... why do we need to get evaluated in front of the dancers? What is fun about watching someone conduct?", but I think it helped a lot. On the last day, you do a certain routine for your Grand Championship evaluation. Coleen and I conducted to a band arrangement of Hot n Cold (weird, I know, but it's Katy Perry, loved it! It was that or some other cheesy stands piece...). Ended up giving a superior performance, despite a few slips, and getting to see a few cool performances. (omg, that camp played Justin Beiber nonstop... Color guard did a routine to Baby..... I swear I only like the songs out of Mere Exposure Effect)

Though..... it's closing on senior year..... this year did not go over very well, needless to say.... But this summer is definitely one of best times I've had. Who knows what the future holds >.<

Time lapse....

2010-06-06T18:52:00.002-04:00

Ahhh summer is sweet, having the option of staying up late instead of being forced to, allowing the warm, summer air to be your alarm clock. It's something special, if only every day could be like that. But unfortunately, it cannot, drum major camp and leadership camp, plus Cancun!!! Exciting.

I recently got my media center hooked up. It has been a dream of mine for 3 years now? Awhile ago, my sister dropped her laptop on the stairs and the screen has been broken. Of course, it still works if you want to hook up another monitor, but you have to use Linux (still not seeing how that worked out but ok....). So I hooked up the laptop to the TV, but Ubuntu didn't have the drivers I needed for sound. So the plan died down until I realized different distros of Linux have different driver supports. Loaded up a CD of Fedora and BAM!

Working media center!

Unfortunately, a real media center doesn't really work on it as of now. I'm using my ipod touch as a wireless remote to my laptop, the app (Jaadu VNC :P) allows me to use a mouse and a keyboard all from the comfort of my couch! It's perfect and I absolutely love it! Plus, getting movies on the laptop no longer requires downloading it on my fast desktop, then loading it onto a flash drive, and then bringing the flash drive to the laptop. I just get it onto my desktop and my movie folder is shared automatically!

*Geeky squeal*

Too bad my life can't be all good. My sister, Lily, recently had to drop piano. And I told her to drop it.

OH NOES DANIEL HOW COULD YOU! WHY WOULD YOU DESTROY HER LOVE OF MUSIC LIKE THAT!?!

Except there was no love. I dropped piano when I finished elementary school, but I knew enough to get around. Lily, on the other hand, still struggles with rhythms.... My mom keeps talking about getting her to play violin but if she doesn't see the love of music in general, what is the point?

Just really weird, with Maria being a freaking music prodigy and me at least attempting. But perhaps Lily will find a way....

Empathy, Apathy, Sympathy, which path.....

2010-05-31T23:54:00.002-04:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." -Marianne Williamson

Marianne, wise words, but it's a shame I will never understand you. It is the closing of another year, the final exams I should be studying for but never do. But it has just got me thinking of how bad a year this has been for me. Not for me personally, my life has been wonderful to me and I wish to be forever grateful for it. But I have simply been an ass towards everyone and everything I have encountered this year.

Effort versus ability, a spell, a chant we suffer through in band. I thought it was a pretty nifty phrase when I first heard it, and after the 70th time, it simply phased through me. However, Mr. Wingate brought up the actual phrase for discussion, and it made me realize: it actually works. 99% of the time when he says that, effort increases for the band.

However, not for me. At least, perhaps not consciously. My life goal has become doing minimum in an advanced level obstacle course of mental, emotional, physical rigor. Papers were being turned in late, documents were just getting lost, and I simply stopped caring. Everyday, I kept on wishing it were the weekend so that I could catch up and when the weekend came, I kept on wishing it were summer so it would be over with. But unfortunately, the days runs fast but the years are long, so the suffering continued.

My mind, social-wise, is dead. I will listen with all my heart and soul, that much I can promise the world. But my ability to think of anything beyond sarcasm, does it even exist? I guess I'll just chuckle, that'll save me the effort. It is even worse when the discussion is serious. My life has been good to me, and sympathy doesn't run deep. It provides no healing, its attempt to disguise understanding sickens me. I desire the ability to truly empathize, but every time I try, I find the wrong connections and the wrong words to express my feelings. I'm deeply sorry to all my friends who have come to me for help, I tried.

I suppose my personality is based on the assumption that everyone is just like me. But I suppose it is all for the better it is not, I'd have to murder another Daniel.... But for now, I'll try to quiet my mind.

A Sunny Day of 78

2010-05-15T11:24:00.002-04:00

Ahhh it's a good day, just spent yesterday with Tatyana, coding the night away. If I had room in my schedule, I would take computer science again in a snap. Something brilliant about code that I just love. One thing I'll never understand though...

WHY DO PEOPLE HATE STATIC!

Argh, I know static pretty much defeats the purpose of object-oriented programming, but I don't absolutely detest static. Perhaps I shall grow into it.....

Marching in the parade today! Was sort of hoping I wouldn't have to, it's like Region band, but there is no tryout, every school just volunteers students to go. But with drumline, the city normally just picks one school to send all their drummers. Go figure, they pick Greer, but Mr. Wingate wanted to volunteer me. But it'll be a good experience for me, getting to play with better drummers never hurt. (besides my emotions :P buuut I'm a big boy and I can handle the criticism)

Just a short blog to share this cute video with you guys ^^

For the love of music....

2010-04-29T22:05:00.002-04:00

A Little Prayer- by Evelyn Glennie

I recently made drum major for our band. I loved doing it, I definitely felt some kind of emotion, don't know if it was pure anger or passion or what but it felt good!

But in class, Mr. Wingate handed us marimba music to practice during class. Mind you, we had been playing the flute part for awhile, I just don't understand how flute players can do it. Having to play ornaments all the time. Though, I do suppose that's the life of a concert percussionist. But when I played that marimba music, I felt young again, I actually felt a flash back of when I played front ensemble with Mauldin, and it was absolutely amazing. The velocity, the runs, my blood accelerates and all my weight is lifted off my shoulders. It's really a unique experience.

We had a show at Furman tonight, just drumline. It was really interesting how Mr. Wingate handled it. During the student-faculty basketball game, I skipped to go to the band room (because Solo and Ensemble was that day, got a superior!). Lo and behold, Jean's mom was there and she wanted us to play. And Mr. Wingate was like "Well, I'm not handling this, if you want to do this Daniel, you organize it." I just thought that was really weird. I guess it's just because I'll be a little more conservative in distributing powers as a band director. Students organizing anything scares me.

So we never had perfect attendance for any of the practices in preparation for it. So some people were still confused. And I had to deal with some respect issues. The music never really got prepared. But in the end, it turned out great for the drumline. Just another step towards growth I suppose.

Next year will be interesting :P

My Remaining Words

2010-04-09T00:04:00.004-04:00

Well, it's 12:05 and I spent roughly 4 hours standing in front of a mirror in a hot room, sweating, half naked, conducting like the momentum is the only thing keeping a bomb from blowing up in my brain. Day 3 of this experiment and entering my last, I can't help but wonder why I'm even trying out to be a drum major.

It did seem like a logical thing to do. I want to be a music educator, and it's the highest position the band has to offer. And I do love it, but I'm going to miss marching, the fire you feel when you and your friends are all just rolling, one precise and concise drum roll, just being in sync, it just feels right you know? The precision, the energy, and all that jazz.

But I can still do it. This drum major audition has been the culmination of four years here, constantly trying to even just make a mark on this band. Just to go to all these people in around the world and say "Yea, I've been doing something." Because people just don't understand marching band, but it's my love, my passion, and it's an utter shame, because you will never really understand it watching it while trying to grab a slice of pizza from a concession stand.

I just wanted to say this because inevitable, by 4:30 tomorrow, my audition will have ended and it almost seems like my life will be decided and locked away forever. Both options great for me, both candidates good for Mr. Wingate. But to come second out of two is an awful feeling I've felt many times. And I want to write this to remind myself how much I love what I do and it won't be the end of the world.

Conducting..... is such a strange thing. As a high school drum major, you are the balance between a drum corp drum major and a orchestral conductor. You have to maintain a straight rhythm while also expressing the intentions of the music. There is so much terminology and knowing as much as I know already, I still know there's a mountain left.

(lol of course, someone will inevitably want to tell me the real purpose of a conductor, but hush!)

Koji Mori- Drum Major of the Phantom Regiment, one of my few Asian heroes :P

lol soo, pray for me, readers who won't be reading this until it's too late anyways!

Historical Musings....

2010-02-15T13:40:00.002-05:00

So I was doing my journals today, just to catch up, and I saw I didn't really finish my list of "Top 5 Worst Presidents". A little rusty in my presidents, I just googled "Worst Presidents" and came across a US News list

I find it pretty rough that Bush, Obama, and George Washington were top 3. Really? George Washington? I was always convinced that Jackson did a pretty bad job but Washington???

2010-02-13T17:18:00.006-05:00

So I recently got my SAT scores back, mind you, I tried to cram the night before, I totally did not take it seriously. I know, that's awful, and cramming and staying up are probably a lot more detrimental than than doing nothing and going to sleep early, but whatever, it boosted my confidence like I actually semi-tried to do something. So I ended up getting a Critical reading of 630, math of 640, and writing of 670 with a 10 on my essay.

It's such a waste that no one really cares about writing lol, I was rather proud of my essay, just because the topic actually interested me. But my mom was alright with it. "DANIEL IF YOU WOULD JUST BE SERIOUS AND APPLY YOURSELF, YOU COULD DO EVEN BETTER!" and all that jazz. She said it's getting close enough to apply to Furman, and it's a shame I totally did not send my score reports lol, what can I say, I really didn't know how it was going to turn out.

But nothing too exciting, sort of good news followed by atrociously bad news. Mr. Wingate is thinking of not having a drum line for next years marching band. I mean, really? I respect his opinion most of the time, and I've seen it done before, everyone stands and plays in the front ensemble. But it's just not fair. How did I get stuck to a school where we're actually considering not having a drumline? How every year, we have to struggle just to get a respectable amount of percussionists to play and then have to do it all over again? It's just not fair.

And it was my turn to be drum major. It's been my dream since freshman year. To conduct a band that topped the 3A class consistently. Is it so much to ask for?? (lol yea)

And my winter drumline dreams will never be achieved. It was always my plan to write a complete show, and I recently finished off writing 1/5 sections for it. The ballad, no drum line parts. But Mr. Irish keeps on building our hopes with his talks and crushing them with his lack of action -.-.....

So who knows about my future lol, I'm tired of it.... If anyone has any siblings without any musical experience, I'm am SOOOO giving free drum lessons in May in hopes of increasing my drumline and making sure percussion doesn't die for Southside.

Just an interesting solo ^^

All- State Auditions

2010-01-24T15:13:00.005-05:00

Waking up Saturday morning at 5:30 is definitely not a pleasant experience to say the least. I showered, and ate breakfast. I ran through my mental check list 5 million times, making sure I didn't forget simple stuff I was bound to normally forget. Saturday was going to be packed with SAT's and All-State auditions and I couldn't afford to forget anything.

I wasn't all too excited for the SAT's, I took a math test the night before, only receiving a raw score of 550. Yea.... I'm no math genius and I acknowledge it but that's just pathetic. I was hoping that the All-State audition would cheer me up from the SAT depression.

But when I got to the SAT, I saw Chris and Eileen and a bunch of other Southside kids. I met a trombone player from the Governor's school who was also trying out for All-State that day (wish I asked for his name lol, but whatever, not like we'll meet again), the test moderator was friendly and I had my chuckles when Eileen's mp3 player went off before the test (XD poor Eileen...)

So the test didn't go so bad. English was pretty alright considering I had never prepared for it. I rushed through the English part, normally finishing with 5 minutes remaining. My essay kicked more butt than normal, and my math.... well, I generally left 1 or 2 questions unaswered but I felt semi-alright. I would live.

I left Greenville Tech around 12:50 and drove straight to Columbia, hoping there'd be no accidents or wrong turns. Of course, they just HAD to have my audition at 2:05, and the rain was just a bad omen of things to come. I walked into the gigantic school, whose halls were empty, and I was worried I travelled 2 hours to the wrong school. But as soon as I entered the cafeteria, a wall of sound just blew me away as I saw 100's of kids warming up.

I was already late, and the school didn't provide me with a marimba to warmup with. So it was a scary feeling, not having warmed up or played your etude since the night before and then having to go into an audition you were an hour late for.

I had originally left my good mallets with Maria, and I brought my own poor pair just in case. I told Maria specifically to leave it with the person at the door or with Mr. Wingate. Guess what Maria forgot to do?

Hate her, love her, it wouldn't have mattered at that point. I went in, played my scales at varying tempos, worrying about hitting the right notes when I was half-tired and worrying about the 2 minute time limit. The marimba was sterile it felt like. There's this rumor out there that if you leave a violin and don't play it for months, the sound will die away. That's the feeling I had, and it was ruinous for my mental health at that point. Messed up 3 scales, I didn't really mess it up like I didn't know the notes, you are taught that when you play mallets, you want to strike and pull the mallet away as quickly as possible, as thought you are being shocked by 10,000 volts. And I forgot the first step >.<> All- State auditions

I really wanted to make All-State. You know? I always had this underlying feeling that I would never make it and it was my chance to shine, I had done so well this season that I just turned my face away from the statistics.....

And the photo above is Nanae Mimura, love her! Her music makes me realize how much fun it would be to be a performer and not just a teacher. So that's why I want to learn percussion fully and not just be a jack of all trades.

Reflections....

2010-01-13T22:02:00.002-05:00

I tried out for Region band on marimba last Saturday, scared as always. My ability to roll or sustain a note always dies out before I make it to the audition room, and my sight reading is generally sub par. So I generally try to go all out on my etude, and hope to dear God that it's enough to cover the sight reading and that people in my region who make the band also make it into All-State so I can be an alternate.

I ended up making a score of 184, enough to make 1st chair and have the chance to go to All-State auditions!

It's extremely unbelievable, but it does make me wonder what I'm supposed to playing in life. Some people say that percussionists have the luxury of being able to play so many instruments, but sometimes it can be such a curse. My friend from middle school once asked me why I didn't play snare and I told her I wanted to major in marimba. She asked if I was good or not.

It was a girl I respected a whole ton and hung around a lot, and it sort of felt weird that I wasn't really recognized as being connected with any particular instrument?

lol But oh well.... It always makes me wonder what would have happened if I went to Mauldin. I would probably be playing snare and being 1000x better than I am now. I could probably march drum corp by the time I graduate, I could actually have a chance of becoming a music major!

lol all if's I suppose....

Let's Keep it Short and Sweet....

2010-01-02T22:58:00.002-05:00

Happy New Years! 2010! 2009 was.... let's say interesting!

I'm not really going to write an essay or anything, I went on my blog today and noticed I didn't really christen the new year last year, instead hopping straight to my Region band audition, which didn't do too well but I still made alternates anyways! (lol woo technicalities). And I really didn't reach any of my resolutions, but I made the deadline when I graduate so technicalites! (again!).

And my birthday resolutions also failed. Sorry guys.

But I wanted to say thanks to all my friends. I used to really hate school, the utter monotonous and the workload I can barely handle. But it's getting better lol, the people who flip their hair onto my desk so I can't see any of my work, all the OO'ers who inspire me to take a second in life and take another look at the norm, all the artist and musicians who don't really inspire me so much lol (more than often make me jealous) but give me something new and kickass to look at, and the little freshies who remind me you can have fun in life and still work hard.

Cheers to the new year kiddos! May this optimism and joy bring me through the hells of Group 4 and the Internal Assessment!

Fie upon't!

2009-12-22T15:51:00.004-05:00

I had a discussion with my neighbor Frank, he's an alright guy. He does a lot of favors with me so in return, I listen to his stories and learn how to work with tools with him. So he decided to wake me up at 11 yesterday and we had lunch together. Went to Home Depot, Ace Hardwares, Barnes and Nobel, and Falafel House! (lol it was... interesting, I'm always open to new things, but they definitely had some really strong vegetables for this meat-loving guy....)

Frank is "almost" your All-American neighbor, he tells stories about his youth and how he had 3 girlfriends at the same time, loves to work with tools, and loves different cultures and traveling. But he took philosophy classes in college, and always likes a good debate. So yesterday, while driving down Woodruff Road, he said "Daniel, time doesn't exist". Which kind of bothered me. Frank likes to disprove a lot of people, always saying that scientist always say a lot of "bullshit", so it really makes it difficult for me to believe anything he says from a philosophy class.

But he said there is no future and there is no past. There is only the "now", and that we've created the concepts of past and future out of semantics. Really destroys my fantasies of time travel, now doesn't it! Perhaps, I read an article that says even physicist don't know what time is. I mean, I always heard time was relative, but for it to not even exist? Madness!

But no matter, life goes on.

So for my English project, I've taken the option to memorize the Hamlet soliloquy. It's rather interesting, the passage is loaded with hatred, self-pity, and confusion. And it leaves it self to various interpretations, though others would like to argue that Shakespeare CLEARLY leaves what types of emotion you're supposed to portray. (lol musical phrasing comes to mind for me). So I've been searching up Youtube videos, trying to feel out what works best. I've taken notes on some good performances, some contradict each other. And I read the Youtube comments and not many seems to rock the whole internet to tears! So alas, I'm on my own on this one.

So the guy knows his uncle killed his dad and married his mom, which you know, would opt mostly for anger. But nooo.... Shakespeare haaaad to be complicated. So he makes the guy a wuss, leaving for subtleties and craziness and what not. But you learn to love it lol.

But watching all these videos sort of made me wonder how stage performances will ever survive. I mean, I can only imagine people watching for the sake of feeling sophisticated. With film, microphones can pick up the very fine delicate voicings and this allows you to travel the sound spectrum! Music can add to the suspense and the camera work automatically focuses your eyes to the most important details.

But perhaps others can enlighten me on the finer delicacies of things.

Happiness Post

2009-11-29T21:25:00.002-05:00

lol seems like a trend, I suppose there are a few things in this world that will ALWAYS make me happy. I mean, good grades only last a few second, even shorter when I realize that the dent one good grade makes in my pile of bad grades is negligible. Friends are great when I actually contribute but most of the time I feel like I drain the life out of everyone. Playing video games is fun every once in awhile but I get my bad days, same with anime and people always try to make it a social commitment to get obsessed with anime and I'm just not like that.

So that was depressing, but what makes me happy?

Sitting down at a piano, completely alone in my home, and playing with a few chords on my left hand and making up random stuff on my right. It's always extremely simple, the left almost never changes its finger patterns and the right just goes where ever the chord progression goes. Its.... relaxing ^^

Or sitting at my drumset, just jamming out to the same beat over and over, just letting the muscles move your body, adding little intricacies to the beat as you go along so that the audience would almost never know you did anything but you know that every second is special.....

Or talking with my sister, where any awkward silence is filled with me saying one of the infinitely many inside jokes. lol she's a fun kid.... jealous of her a lot of the times. She makes life seem so easy....

lol and nice, sunny days on my porch, just me and my drum pad knocking out a few of my repertoire ^^, I love the sound of a snare drum but man, there is something special about rubber that sends chills up my spine.

Perpetual Emotions

2009-11-04T22:39:00.005-05:00

Physics has always had a weird place in my heart. We take the simplest of scenarios, like having a book in car and try to make it super complicated. The book weighs 3.80 kg. The car is traveling at 20 m/s and it decelerates to a stop over the distance of 45 m. While the oh so comfortable leather seating in your luxury car gives the book a coefficient of friction of 0.650. And we're trying to figure out if the book slides or not.

The process of teaching is about simplifying it the general idea while the process of learning is about complications and minute details.

It really does make me angry that I can't just go get my car and test it myself. Living in a time of calculations doesn't seem nearly as fun as living in a world of experiments. It's just hard to believe that people just sat down and invented stuff like Calculus. Or even in Psychology, how they setup experiments to study the mind of infants, it's ridiculous!

_________________________________

I constantly tried to fit myself into the picture of one character from the play "Death of a Salesman". Biff, the guy who can't seem to find his way in life, Willy, the man who thinks personality will get you through, Happy, the guy who doesn't do helpful to anyone but himself.

And as I thought, I originally thought I was a Biff. Still do, but I think I have a little of all three. Reality is harsh. Definitely not how I would write out Life if I had the choice.

I hate commitment.... why can't I be here one day and gone like the next, the wind blows gently on those it passes by, not caring for the harsher world, only dancing freely in its own beauty and simplicity....

But I'm not a bird or the wind, I'm confined to these repetitive days of predictable, perpetual, oscillating emotions. It doesn't appear that I'll ever grow mentally or physically, every time I try hard in life, nothing really comes out of it. Still, even though life feels slow, the clock ticks quickly and I lose another second thinking about the last.

Knowing this doesn't help me any.... life is still very blah...

Looking back? Quit that, you're marching! Look Forward!

2009-10-29T21:47:00.002-04:00

So a year and 10 days ago, I made a post describing my goals for my 2008-2009 birthday year. And I felt really good about it because I got 3 comments, probably the most I've ever gotten! (haha). But looking back, I really didn't achieve any of them. Besides making an honor band, and that was still a rough slide with technicalities.

I, as a person, suck.

Commitment isn't for me, I honestly wish I could be an ostrich and stick my head in the ground so I could just think for once. I wish life wasn't about trying to do as many things as you can.

But Gary thought differently, and he's a million times happier.

I tried to be like him recently. After coming home Sunday, I honestly thought to myself "I will be better, I will try and actually reach out to people so that I'm more than the guy who makes sarcastic jeers at everyone." And yea, the first day it was pretty good. It was the day after my birthday, the day after the funeral. I tried to say hi to everyone and bring up something from the last time I saw them and ask them how their life was. But it's tough when people already know me, when they perceive me as the jerk who has nothing better to do than to suck off of the fun things in your soul.

So yea, still working on it. Apparently my cousin is self-admittedly anti-social too, must run in the family.

One of my good friends from Riverside recently made a group called "Help Kevin march Carolina Crown!". If you didn't know, Carolina Crown is basically a marching band in Sumter, South Carolina that takes percussion and brass players from age 16-21. Carolina Crown placed second place at the national level. Soooo yea! Registration is $100, I think there is another $100 for camp fees. And then once you make it in, travel expenses and uniform can go up into the thousands. So yeaaaa!!

I really do hope he makes it though, it has always been my dream to march in DCI (young summer marching band), WGI (indoor drumline), and DCA (old people marching band!). Seems like 100 people tryout for 7-10 snare spots (yep, snare is a pretty popular instrument...) and all of them are like gods at their school but it really doesn't mean anything in the big picture.

Because of Kevin, I spent every night for the past week just playing. Working on the Rhythm X 2009 show, movement 1 so far. That's some fast stuff..... I don't feel like I've ever finished a piece, and not even the way like other musicians are like "You never really finish a piece", I mean literately, I've never finished a piece. I tried learning Electric Wheelchair, the RCC 2006 feature, Year of the Ram, Minnesota Brass feature, but its never too much of a mental challenge. It's always about pushing your muscles, finding the most efficient way to artistically- visually pronounce these fast speed passages, pushing every note out but still keeping the dynamics completely under your control.

But I'm working on it. Being a better musician, to express myself, and taking these lessons and to be a better person.

Sweating out this frozen hell.....

2009-10-15T23:26:00.002-04:00

I think it's only appropriate these past 2 days that everything is prefaced with saying how much we miss you, Gary, just by your facebook page you can tell how much Southside cares. May you have a nice recovery and bring an end to this rain and gloom.

Constant rain..... Rainy Monday and Wednesday, clear Tuesday. Guess which days we had band practice on for a change? Monday and Wednesday. Guess who managed to fuck up and get sick during marching season? Me. Had a few symptoms on Monday, I'm starting to snap at my drumline members. Then again, it's traditional of me to start breaking down near the end of any season. But yelling and hitting members (in retaliation for any horseplay they do to me, not like I start bashing their heads into the drums...) is out of my character usually. By Wednesday, I just wasn't feeling good, wanted to throw up but didn't want to worry too many people. So I just tried to look repetitively depressed so people would not mess around near me. Time like these where I love seclusion, when I got home, I shoved myself in the dark and forced myself to sleep.

And now I'm just trying to heal up before Saturday, it's not like I can seriously take a marching competition out of my schedule. Taking children's moltrin (yeaaaaaa lol, adult medicine isn't fun...) and just bundling up everywhere.

I finally made my Reflections piece get into a happy spot, I call it a "major" break through (dut dut, cha! lol laaaaaammme). I'm actually doing a piano piece this year. As much as I'd love to, I don't have time to write out and teach a percussion ensemble. And I was supposed to spend summer writing a whole winter drumline show, but the inspiration never came. I don't know what's wrong with me.

But I got a few idea from Mr. Rogers, during Physics class, he pulled out a metal rod and explained resonance by putting rosin (lol we all freaked out, like "where the f' did Mr. Rogers get rosin??) on the metal rod and rubbing his finger across the bar. It actually made this really lovely alarm-type noise, but I'm sure if we tuned it right and with various Blue Man group items, the combination would be the most amazing thing to hit the indoor percussion circuits!

Oh, but people were having trouble with it. I tried and managed to get a sound out of it, I didn't abuse it but I made an audible sound to the other people in the room. I think the secret is having a little moisture on your finger tips. Just a little, I think rubbing your thumb and index fingers together is enough, but it was pretty fun lol. Too bad I failed at the crystal glass trick XD (I did it before, but couldn't do it in Mrs. Shoun's room that day. Plus fingers hurt lol, keep forgetting to stop cutting my cuticles >.<)

I think my expectations are a little weird. My dad expected me to have good grades, teachers just want me to stay awake, and my mom just wants me to stay alive. All I want is to be out on the fresh green ground, air crisp and cool, and marching with my best friends, not drumming along their sounds but rather drumming IN their sounds. Every note, every tap, it has power in number and uniformity. Everything I dislike or like about the others means absolutely nothing, it is a purely self-joy in my playing and yet when it comes down to it all, they mean everything and I mean nothing.

It's utter bliss. Congrats on Southside Drumline's first competition. Nailed first in class and 2nd out of the day. Congrats SHS Band, 2nd in class and 5th of the day.

lol randomly dark eh, do love this long weekend.....

Survival of the Fittest

2009-09-14T23:29:00.002-04:00

There was always something refreshing about coming home from school in the 3rd grade. I would do my homework immediately and then I would go watch Pokemon and play video games. I only remember cheery days, the sun was bright, (we didn't have a sun room, but we also had a high ceiling in the living room to the top of the roof. Then we created the bonus room above the living room to make room for my sisters). And I'd go to sleep just wondering what I would do the next day, how good the day had been to me before, and how I was grateful for every second. Sure, I had my bad moments, but I personally lived without too much regret.

Which is a weird contrast to today. I come home, restless, tired, and I immediately fall asleep for an hour or two, often waking up even more irritable than I did to begin with. I eat dinner in relative silence, attempting to make a few jokes but ultimately failing because my sense of humor was shot when I went to middle school, and it was replaced with sneery sarcasm. And then I rush to do my homework, with the stacks of paper broken by periods of video games, just because it's practically my heritage and I'd probably kill myself if I attempted a straight cram.

But I guess the most important thing about 3rd grade was that my expectations were fulfilled in a short amount of time. Life was just a lot more happier that way. My expectations were small but enough to make me happy, and they were placed on a timeline of every other day it seemed like.

Ever since middle school, people around me have been worried more and more about getting a job., more and more about driving, and more and more about college. It's relatively irritating, you don't see the outcome of your work until it's almost too late to assess for your happiness. Colleges won't take you, it's not like you can exactly take a retest, as happy as you are with yourself with a B+ on a test, the rest of the world is looking down on you and scolding you.

Learning used to be a thing of accomplishment, I actually felt proud of what I was doing. I remember learning algebra in 3rd grade challenge class, balance the two sides with algebraic blocks, and when I finally got it, I earnestly gave myself a pat on the back (which means a lot! The only time I hear "give yourself a pat on the back" was whenever we were learning something super easy in band, and it means nothing then....). Learning now is simply just surviving, as fun as finding derivatives is, it's not really fulfilling in any way except to pass standardized tests.

Friends were good back then too, but that's just because I'm lazy XD, I don't want to go anywhere with you guys, I see you at recess, what more could I want? *haha I'm such a loser, but it's all good.*

Recently, (I believe 2 weeks ago?), Reading Rainbow was canceled. Oh the enjoyments I had, sleeping through those shows! Heh, not really, I did enjoy them, the reason it was canceled was because it lost its funding because it taught kids why to read, rather than how to read. Honestly? That should be the job of parents. More and more, parents are expecting children to learn stuff from school rather than from the parents themselves. All these anti-drug campaigns and sexual education (which, admittedly, I haven't seen very often, either it's because I'm in high school or because it was more of a thing of the past) could have been easily avoided if parents stepped up.

Plus texting while driving, parents screwed up big time on that one -.-

I guess we (I? Maybe I'm alone on this one) just lack utter intrinsic motivation. This combination of combating IB vs AP styles of teaching, it just doesn't work for me, I honestly don't see the point of it. All of this time cram, can't we just have an option where we can get the IB Diploma with an additional year of work? Just one more year after senior year to finish the 2 year college course.

Of course, people would still mess it up and try to cram even MORE 2 year-1 year classes..... jerks -.-

lol perhaps I should try meditation, people have said that the answers were within....

HAAAAMMMMMM!

2009-09-05T23:28:00.002-04:00

Well, this is definitely going to be one of my worst blog posts ever, I believe it to be far worse than my adolescent "angry" hate posts I put on my Xanga, mostly because this is self-meditated and sort of thought out. But I'm about to do the unthinkable.

Criticize Hayao Miyazki

DUM DUM DUM!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Can already hear the crows* "You bastard! How dare you criticize the great master's works! You should burn at the stake you traitor!

Heh, it was a good movie though, don't get me wrong. But I just didn't think it was one of his strongest pieces. It lacked relative complexity when compared to Spirited Away or Howl's Moving Castle. But I guess that's ok, the setting was a little more realistic when compared to his other movies, so perhaps that was the compromise he designed.

If you didn't know, Ponyo is essentially the Japanese variation on "The Little Mermaid", toned down even more for children. Well, the premise is that anyways, there are a few twists that change the story line. The art was absolutely beautiful, but it does hold a different value these days. I did wish it was a little sharper? HD has really made an impact on my life these days, but that's just Miyazaki's style, gentle water colors, so maybe that's a fault of my own.

I didn't love the voice acting so much, I don't detest English dubbing, quite the contrary, I'll often switch back and fourth between Japanese Dub and English Dub when I have a DVD, just so I can compare, and more often than not, I don't have a preference, but Noah Cyrus did Ponyo's voice and she was the only one I really had an issue with. I imagined Ponyo as this nice, gentle creature and Cyrus's voice is pretty harsh and sharp. It is realistic of what a 5 year old American would sound like but that's just not what I wanted. *If you've never seen it before, go stand behind a Japanese family and listen to the children, they're adorable (not creepy at all! They were next to me on July 4th!)* But technical stuff aside....

THE STORY WAS TOO DARN HAPPY!

When I watched Spirited Away, people were being eaten, there was this sense of urgency on Chihiro's part, there was always this "tense" feeling. I really didn't get much of that in Ponyo. Yea, there was one scene were I was like "Oh no!", but it was resolved so quickly that I couldn't really enjoy it. Spirited Away had this long, epic "Hero's" journey, but Ponyo seemed more like a 1 episode OAV, short and sweet. In the end, they to test Sosuke (the little boy) to see if he is fit to be with Ponyo, but when the movie ends, I sat there thinking.... "Where was the test??"

And Ponyo is always acting like a freaking ADD child -.-, with her always screaming stuff like "HAAAAMMM!" Yea, I understand she's from the sea and probably didn't get to talk much as a child, (doesn't it just remind you of Mrs. Ford's example of the child locked in the room?), but still, I would have preferred she didn't act so dumb? lol 5 year olds I guess.....

I guess those are my issues with it, it was very "anti-conflict", and Ponyo's character is very... harsh. But it is very cute. I believe that I'll need to watch it again, a lot of times I feel as though I miss out on a lot the first time, and perhaps that is why I feel this way right now, so please, whoever has or is going to see Ponyo, tell me what you think!

And I'm going to try picking up Totoro this weekend, 3 day weekends, you got to love them right?

Pure Bad- Assity

2009-09-02T21:46:00.002-04:00

Time for my annual self- life check, the point in time where I keep repeating to myself I really am a lazy boy who doesn't care for his future so I can fool myself into thinking I'm not doing too bad. The talk never works though, and I always do end up caring. Foolish me for developing good habits -.-

As far as drumming goes, I love it but I don't love it at the same time? I have gotten better as an ensemble player, I actually listen to others and my fluidity is better, but I haven't gotten better by myself. I can't play 32nd notes at 50000 bpm's yet, I still have issues doing those crazy cheesy-poof-inverts-beater-down-book-report-from-grandmama yet..... (Yea, that's essentially equivalent to a scale in the drumming world I guess? Its still hard to believe we enjoy making these insanely stupid patterns.)

Plus I again realize I'm short lol, watching those marching band videos and seeing this gigantic snare drummer as center and me following him doesn't present a good image for our band.

I'm taking the SL IB Music exam this spring, I'm absolutely terrible with theory, I'm not worried though. Most of music is intuitive after you know the basics, so when in doubt, I'll just start singing hysterically during the exam trying to figure out whole and half steps.

One of my friend's sister brought a rubik's cube to the car pool and it was neat. Not the rubik's cube itself, but the girl, she posed the question if I had ever made the cube so that no two colors touched adjacent sides. Which was something I had always had trouble with, the idea that the solution was something so random yet not so random. She said she had done it before so I eventually took 20 minutes to attempt to create this pseudo-solution. Stumped, forever stumped. I eventually solved the cube so that all the colors matched, and she said "Oh, that's cool." casually, intriguing me. It sort of made me wonder if she honestly thought the real purpose of the cube was to make it so that no colors touched lol, it was very.... enlightening, its like a pure innocence you only get to see every 3 or 4 years. It made me happy.

Plus I can't remember any of the algorithms, so my time is like 40 seconds *lost 5 months of progress lol*

Steph mentioned something about the National Art Society, I sort of wish there was a Regional Doodle Club or something. I'm actually pretty interested in drawings, not doing them of course, my drawings are awful things I create just to stay alive during English. But drawing is different, especially these days, with how convenient it is to just use a tablet or to take a photo and edit that. Pencil shadings, especially amateur ones, have a certain.... power to them. Every little knick, every missed pixel, it gives life to the image.

I do miss art class though. Honestly, if it were possible to go to as many classes as you want until 6 and you could leave if you fulfilled your main academic classes, I would take band and art and maybe even ROTC. (Who can honestly say they haven't had enough marching yet? This will fill those empty winter seasons!). My art classes were kind of weird though. I wish it were more free, time and subject wise. Every time I tried to do good work on a subject, I always ended up taking a lot more time and missing deadlines and getting bad grades. But I guess that's what I get for using rulers for every possible line out there.

And it was always whatever the art teacher wanted to do that day. "Hey, let's draw v's and cut them out and paste them on paper to make winter trees!", those cut-and-glue crafts were always such a pain for me, I can barely handle scissors to this day, and glue always led to some crazy child going "OMG I LOVE PUTTING GLUE ON MY FINGERS AND LETTING IT DRY!" and everyone screaming "I NO RITE!". I don't know, I guess I wanted like a class where it was "Hey, if you like drawing, go sit in that corner and I'll glance over your shoulder every once in awhile!"

I also miss recess. Just a place at school where I could sit down and not be expected to do anything, just basking in the sun relaxing. There must be statistics out there on how recess allows for the natural cleaning of the mind and allows for greater memory recall or something. But it wouldn't be the same. No longer are the days where we can run around and be trusted to do things according to common sense, to stay within the bounds of good morality. No longer are the days where our greatest enjoyment was running around in circles, tagging each other until we all tired out. Now with all this technology and everyone can drive and people do drugs on a normal basis, we're stuck in this prison, forced to rapidly learn all this stuff designed for college students so we can just GET to college.

But I can always wish..... that maybe I'll meet a whole family of people who believe in my seemingly simplistic philosophies, and I can just drift into general bliss of living an average life.

Rhythm and Poetry

2009-08-29T10:12:00.002-04:00

Yea, so one day walking to marching band with my Mauldin buds (good days back then! no stress! What was I thinking moving to Southside!) and one of my friends was like "Hey man, did you know rap was just an accronym for "rhythm and poetry"! ", and I was like "shut up! Don't you dare insult poetry like that!"

Not that I was ever a big poetry fanatic, I actually dislike Emily Dickinson, perhaps I just haven't read enough of her, but I just don't feel like her not realizing humans need to breath is really revolutionary.

And back then I hated rap, just because most of it was gangbangin, motherfuckin, tap that ass crazy junk and I couldn't even bear listening to the monotonous drum beat.

But it's not been so bad recently. yea, there are still songs that fit the above description, but once in awhile.... you find that rare gem that actually means something to you, or is just enough to make you think. I love instrumental music to the end of the world, I wouldn't ever give it up, but sometimes you just need words to listen to when you're down, just to take your mind off of yourself and hear what's out there, because 20% of rap is talking about how shit the world is, which (I don't know about the rest of you) puts a better view on my life.

Plus not a lot of genres have neat rhymes like rap does lol
_____________________________

So it's the countdown, we're closing in on the end.

Ergonomics- the economics of saving yourself from pain

2009-08-09T22:24:00.002-04:00

I've been wanting to post a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff has happened in the world, meant to do a Father's Day post like Oryza, 1 year has passed since my dad passed away, but I just couldn't live up to what Oryza wrote and the actually 1 year-day was overshadowed with news of Michael Jackson and Fawcett, so it seemed inappropriate to talk of more death, no matter, I've had little to say.

On a strictly physical level, I have been more than magnificent. I made it through band camp again without passing out, and my drum line is doing great, other than the fact that we haven't received all the music we need. We did learn all the footwork though, so I'm (sort of?) impressed with that, it's something my band teacher keeps on saying, "We're one of the few bands in Greenville county who has their whole show learned!", but it's not really true since half the show is music?

I don't think I'm going to march next year though. As much as I absolutely love it, I don't think my legs can take it anymore. The technique pretty much has you bending your feet 45 degrees up all the time or it has you standing on your tippy toes, and my legs and feet are dieing. Plus with my hopeful band-related occupation in the future, I guess I should try conducting before I graduate.

Only problem is that it leaves me in command of the whole band, which isn't a really awesome thing to look forward to. I'm assuming everyone knows Lekendre? God does he drain the life out of me. He constantly tries to thwart the little authority that I have, fails every time, and STILL does not learn how to stay on my good side. And it's never even major stuff, it should be obvious stuff, like not having your phone out during practice, or staying silent during the "set" position (basically you stay quiet and hold your sticks before you start playing, HOW HARD IS THAT, go figure), and I'll give him pushups for actual rebellious action, I mean, hell, what else am I supposed to do? And he tries to take it up with Mr. Wingate, and his pleas are ALWAYS turned down, and he ends up doing the pushups. I can handle the bad action that happens first, but the fact that he thinks he actually has a case against me when he goes to Mr. Wingate really ticks me.

It's always weird stuff like this. That's why "common sense", is so ironic in itself.

Recently, they made a law that banned drivers from playing video games while driving. I could have sworn it was already illegal to have videos in visible sight of the drivers seat, how dumb could you be? Remember, this is recently. I mean, how dare you risk X number of lives just because you couldn't hold your hunger for video games.

Same should go for texting, putting on make up, feeding children, and answering cell phones while driving. Driving should be..... driving, PERIOD.

----------------

On a happier note, I've actually cleaned up my room and my desk. For like ages, my desk has been cluttered with notes on web design, homework that I forgot to turn in, pens that I've been spinning, all the junk I thought I'd need close at hand but didn't. I always been sort of a Feng Shui addict, not because I actually believe in the flow of chi and what's zen and not zen based on the actual rules, but it's always been enough to fool people into semi-cleaning up their crap.

I've just been on a spree of "self-improvement". I'm constantly reading articles on motivation, (this site is really interesting btw) and memory improvement, always looking at photos of people's offices and how I can improve my own desk with their ideas. It does sort of leave a constant hole in my life, I'm always asking "how can I make this better??", I wasn't really happy how I was before, and even now I'm sort of a little less happy in proportion of my overall goals, but I'm going to keep this mindset.

And I think I'm going to give up obsessing with the Japanese culture. At one time it was interesting, but I guess I've grown out of it? I don't like growing up without a distinct identity, when people ask me what I listen to, I'm tired of only being able to answer "I guess whatever is on Japanese radio?", or ask me what I watch and I start to reference some obscure genre of animation that no one but Otakus would understand. I do appreciate some of the good things out of the Japanese culture, the food is pretty alright and some of the anime was good, but I guess it's time for me to stop being so damned racially confused, I always hated the fact that I was Vietnamese and always wished I was Japanese, but now, I'm just glad to be an American.

And if you've downloaded the LeftRightLeftRight album from Cold Play, can you tell me why why Cold Play fans are so bad at clapping on time and always rush?

Walk to your own drum, mine's got weird syncopation and meter change problems....

2009-07-16T11:14:00.003-04:00

Recently had our regular Monday Night Jam sessions. If you don't know what that is, it's basically a practice on Mondays and we give the music to all the rookies and explain a few fundamentals. Which in theory I find completely fun and exciting, nothing like meeting new people and just hanging out. But noooooo, it's boring and mundane. Each year, I always repeat this sort of mantra "It'll be better this year, I'll do more with my power to make it better", but it never happens. In the end, Mr. Irish always takes charge and bores the living snot out of me and the rest of the line.

Mr. Irish is a great teacher, but he doesn't adjust to age very well. He mind as well teach grade school kids, his methods are slow and this worked when we were still growing but now it's becoming ridiculous, especially since a majority of the line are veterans and the other portion are kids who made it into county and region in their middle school years. He constantly uses metaphors that mean nothing to us and he constantly gives up uplifting speeches, especially when we don't need them. It's the same material year after year, and it just isn't effective with veteran members who have heard it over and over.

He also fails to give us our materials soon enough, he always has problems with his monitor or motherboard or his copy of his music writing program expired or his injury from a car wreck 2 years ago is affecting him now. So we're stuck playing exercises over and over until the last week before the competition practically. And we wonder why we perform inconsistently each week.

Other than that, I'm looking forward to this year!
____________________________________

Recently I've been reading a lot more, and by a lot more, I mean just started reading 20 pages at a time. Which isn't a lot compared to a lot of people at Southside (I mean really? I thought it was the teen's normal inclination to never read, so when I figured out everyone was reading SOMETHING, it made me feel bad). But I've been reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. It's about this guy who falls in love with this young girl but knows the consequences of what his love can do. Of course, I'm only around chapter 13 (curse my hatred of bookmarks, always losing my spot), but I actually like this book a lot. I guess it's the fact that Nabokov explains the character's mind so well with no cuts in description. It's just so different society's view of a pedophile that it's sort of refreshing. It's not disgusting in the least bit when he describes his emotions.

Of course, I wouldn't really recommend it to everyone >_>

Also started reading the Time Traveler by H.G. Wells. First reason was because it was included free in the E-Book software I downloaded for my Ipod Touch. Second reason was because I heard it transformed the overall thought on time travel. Was a little afraid, after reading War of the Worlds, I assumed Wells might be a little boring in this one too. But fear not children! It is actually pretty interesting. There was only a brief explanation on how time travel worked (and already knew most of his views) so that was disappointing. But the adventure is still fun, recently stopped reading it (because reading on an Ipod isn't as nearly as fun as you'd think it to be) but I hope to pick it up again.

And of course, my summer reading books shipped so that's even more stuff to read. Not particularly excited about it, but I heard some reviews on it, seems alright.
_______________________________

Got my report card finally, all A's except for government, 91. (lol like I really give a damn about that 91, I would have gotten an A if he wasn't a jerk, I lost my original weekly reports and I printed new copies for him and he didn't grade it, YOU ALREADY GRADED IT YOU JERK) Which is weird, I looked at it and knew I should feel happy for the rest of the grades, I really don't care for school. Were it possible, I'd go straight to work. But I've been around people who scream Bloody Mary when they get 99's so long that it's kind of hard to get out of that mindset.

Honestly don't know what I'm going to do with my life. Sort of want to be a band director, sort of want to be a computer programmer. But nothing really screams to me "you need to do this Danny". Even becoming a priest threw itself out there. I'm not the most religious kid in the world. But maybe that's not what it takes.... I knew a guy who was religious in school, brought his Bible to school, preached everyday. He ended up becoming a pervert, a druggie, and a Buddhist (but the Buddhist part isn't bad lol, just a change of religion I thought I'd mention). Maybe you'll burn yourself out if you're too into religon early on. I think I need one of those life-changing moments.

But it's hard to just randomly destroy everything you own and live your life as a hermit until you find the answer.

lol who knows, maybe it'll come to me a different way.

“There are no classes in life for beginners; right away you are always asked to deal with what is most difficult”

- Rainer Maria Rilke

A Bag of Letters, Make do best that you can!

2009-06-23T18:04:00.002-04:00

Min Blog ^^, I've been writing blogs nonstop recently, perhaps I should stop writing so much and actually wait until I get good material.

If you didn't get it, the title refers to Scrabble. I recently downloaded a game of Scrabble, thinking "Hmm, playing in Ms. Shouns class was fun but they were pretty good players, perhaps I should practice with a computer". But all that it's made me realize is that Scrabble is a ridiculously aggravating metaphor for life. Life can throw all it's seemingly useless vowels at you. Mountains upon mountains, it almost seems that the world is full vowels until you sit back and check the bag again. These stupid vowels you constantly have to exchange for each other. Dealing with duplicates is infinitely depressing when the hand is completely random.

And then you finally make a word that you're proud of, this giant comglomeration of letters that must be worth at least 15 or 16 points, perhaps more if you're lucky or land on the bonus square. But you know what annoys me the most? When another person JUMPS on your masterpiece, this thing you have been thinking about for the past 5 minutes, and adds one letter and immediately gets the score for the whole word!

I find it infinitely frustrating. But at the same time, I can appreciate the game. It's quite strange when you think about it. A game where you're finding one-letter simalarities between words. It is easy to think beginning and end. But in the end, you're placing all your letters in the middle of other words. It really makes you think.....

Damn, how in the world did people live without spell check automatically doing stuff for them?

Legal Brainwashing

2009-06-20T22:39:00.002-04:00

I finished up the Vacation Bible School job this week. Man, what a pain and a blast. Had to supervise a group of 10 kids, hardly got to time to remember their names though. Didn't really have a major impact on my life, it's not like I went there and came back thinking "This is truly why I believe in God." I mean, it was just a day care pretty much geared towards God. Which isn't bad, it keeps them occupied I guess? But it's tiring.

I think it's legal brainwashing.

We spend the day singing and dancing to a playlist of maybe 9 or 10 songs. Everyday, Every morning and every closing for 5 days. Every time they say this weird catch phrase like "God is powerful" or "God is with us!", the children have to reply "Fear not!". It's absolute insanity. It's repetition to drill the ideas into the kids minds.

When they had the volunteer meeting before the camp, they said that this program was tested and used on different kids across the nation and was proven to work. I found that kind of weird at first but now I know why.

I mean, I believe in God but I'm not about to drown you in holy water. I'm relatively tolerant, I'll defend my faith when it's under attack but I'm not about to go scream "PRAISE THE LORD AND ALL HIS GOODNESS". I'm practically agnostic and sitting through that dancing and singing wore me down. I mean, I had to dance because the kids don't know the moves and require me to see what's on stage and who's doing what move.

I guess I would like all people to have SOME kind of religion. Religious people live longer and it turns out in surveys that priests are the happiest in their occupational fields than anyone else (who would have guessed...). But what does a bunch of university studies show for! Gosh guys! I always just figured religion was a way of giving people a standard on which to base morality. I mean, yea, there's the obvious stuff like "Hey, you probably shouldn't stab that guy so many times", but sometimes I like it when people actually have an opinion on something instead of those lazy assholes who have no opinion on anything but themselves, or those people who are reluctant to say yes or say no to avoid the awkward question.

I always figured music to be legal brainwashing too. "Hey, this song is catchy!" Nah duh, it only repeats itself like 5 million times, what makes you think it won't get stuck in your head? Take any Utada Hikaru song, maybe even Green Day, haven't listened to them in awhile. They say the exact same thing over and over, maybe they'll change the pitch, but lyrical repition is sickening. Also sickening in poetry, but I won't go too deep there, might draw some blood out of the English community.

I've always enjoyed a good religious battle but I always end up screaming my brains into the wall and lose my sight on what's going on. I don't normally like argueing though out of the blue. It always comes when I see an idiot on the internet bashing something perfectly innocent. Flame wars much lol

“He who knows not that he knows not, he is a fool - shun him.”
“He who knows not, and knows that he knows not, he is simple - teach him.”
“He who knows, and knows not that he knows, he is asleep - wake him.”
“He who knows, and knows that he knows, he is wise - follow him.”
– Arabian proverb

Quit being jackasses you anti-microsoft freaks.....

2009-06-16T12:56:00.004-04:00

Every day I have to deal with the internet constantly hatin' on Microsoft. They do make some ridiculous moves but the comments that follow it are generally so dumb that I can actually take the wrong side of an argument and feel good about it. I'm just an argumentative person, I think the only reason I don't do Speech and Debate is because I'm also a lazy person who likes to stick to ethics rather than pure facts.

Microsoft Donating 8 Meals for Each IE8 Download
This article discusses a plan by Microsoft that suggests that they will donate the money to fund 8 meals to the Feeding America network if you download Internet Explorer 8. This short download, which requires no installation, could feed 8 people one meal. Another day to live for what, average 5 minute worth of download? And people won't shut up about "Oh, it's a gimmick by Microsoft to download their crappy browser".

SHUT THE FUCK UP. Honestly, IE8 is alright. It's not bad by any means. Last I checked, it beat Firefox in most side to side comparisons for casual browsing. But you people are so busy with the old and cliche "Windows __anything_____ sucks" phrase that you won't bother double checking if that anonymous person on the other side of the world is actually right. I loaded up IE8 yesterday, did some browsing, honestly didn't care that it wasn't Firefox. In fact, I even loaded a IE8 theme on Firefox for myself. I like the interface and how it looks.

I wish we lived in a world that could go to a computer and be happy with it. Be happy and not scream "OMG THIS COMPUTER DOESN'T HAVE FIREFOX???" Because most add-ons aren't really used on a daily basis when you think about it. You want to know my add-ons? IETab, Ad-block plus, and FoxMarks. But it's not like I see a major change on every web page every day other than Ad-block.

Opera, another major browser, is sueing Microsoft for bundling Internet Explorer 8 with Windows 7, saying they're using their "unlawful power" to bundle these things. Last time I checked, having Internet Explorer installed on a computer never really came with any burdens. It might have taken "a little" more space, but if I'm really worried at that point for that much space, something is seriously wrong with me. Remember when Windows updates didn't come in the form of an automatic installer, when you clicked Windows Update in your start menu, it brought up IE? Yea, those were the good days. Microsoft did you guys a favor, no longer is it required to bring up a IE window! So now you ungrateful bastards can remove IE with no hesitation!

Windows Vista...... declared one of the biggest technical failures of the decade by Time magazine. Though, to be honest, I have no problem with Vista. I have problems with people who "think" they'll have problems with Vista. But I have no problems with Vista. No major noticable crashes that could have been prevented by switching operating systems. The ease of use in transitioning, I mean honestly people. The common people should have had no beef with Vista, it was businesses that could be worried. Application compatability on the large scale posed a major problem for businesses, and to them, I give them a little slack in being wary. But to all my friends who go "uh huh huh huh, Vista... Fail!", I'd like to give you the award for being the most annoying fuck I've ever seen in 5 minutes. You stand up there next to Carlos Mencia and Kat Williams. Congrats.

Ubuntu, I have a problem with.
In a hypothetical situation, I have a mom who is pretty computer illiterate. She is constantly asking me how to do stuff on the computer, and she thinks she crashes the computer a lot and asks for a new computer. Do I do give her Windows Vista or a distribution of Linux?

Windows Vista of course! Because I can explain things like "Double click the icon to start the installer", but I don't want to have to explain repositories or terminal or sudo to my mom or anyone as a matter of fact. Where is the fun in seeing if Ubuntu has a good standard driver for a piece of hardware or seeing if you'll need to find or compile your own. I constantly see people on the internet asking for help, and there is always one smart ass who thinks it's wise to suggest "Reformat and install Ubuntu". You're suggesting to this guy, the guy who managed to break the easiest piece of software, to go and try a whole different operating system? Yea, I don't think the learning curve works that way.....

I see NO benefit in Linux, other than for recovery purposes. If I ever need to save data on my Windows partition, then I will use Linux. But rarely does this ever occur, and I can normally recover myself using Windows or a Windows startup tool anyways. There are two ways Linux advertises itself.
1. It's secure.
2. It's free and opensource.

I'll admit it's secure..... Because no one gives a damn about creating viruses for Linux. If anyone even attempted, the Linux people would just find a patch and be so damn smug about it that virus maker probably wouldn't hear the end of it and kill himself.

And it's free, which is really neat and all guys! Yea, ok, this is really only a legit reason for "some people". Everyone else is being self-righteous. Quit that. I paid for my damn copy of Windows, do you know what else I get with that? Yea, that's right, actual support..... from the actual makers, not a bunch of "Pray and hope I know what I'm talking about" terminal rescuers Linux has. And I get an OS that runs a good 90% of the world's applications without special set up.

"Holy ga-moly Dannny, you mean I can actually run a program without having to run other emulation programs?"

Yea! Linux has your Wine, Mac has your bootcamp. What? You say Wine isn't an emulator? What's it do again? You say it runs Windows programs on Linux?
EMULATOR!
I'm not even just being stubborn, all I'm saying is that unless the application was hard coded and designed for Mac/Linux users, you're going to be using something along these lines to use it, and something along those lines is what most people call an emulator.

Microsoft has DirectX and will always have DirectX. Mac and Linux users can go beg on their knees for it, but it would be a dumbass move by Microsoft to give it to them. Mac users have a program called "Crossover", which allows you to play Windows games on a Mac. They charge you £25.99, and not all the games work! In Linux's Wine and Macs Crossover, the games are ranked bronze, silver, and gold based on how well they work in the program. But there is even a rank named "Garbage" What is what that nonsense! You're going to label a game "garbage" because you can't even get your operating system together to understand a game?

"Your game, Your OS, Seamless...", motto for Crossover, what a load of bullshit....

"I'm a Mac!"
"And I'm a PC!"
"I'm an overpriced piece of shit that people exclaim over for almost no reason and it's easy to design smear campaigns on the programs I come with that would be considered bloatware on a PC!"

Yeppers kiddos, I think that's about it for my Microsoft rant, I've got a few more, but I feel like my blood pressure would kill me if I attempted to look through anymore research *cough*idioticflamewars*cough* to supplement this post.

Mental Nag in a State of Woo-zyness

2009-06-14T20:01:00.003-04:00

I got my wisdom teeth pulled out on Friday, when everyone talks about it, I'm always expecting "OMFG IT FEELS LIKE SOMEONE STABBED ME IN THE MOUTH WITH A RUSTY BARBED WIRE FENCE", but it's not that. The operation went alright, went with my mom at 7 in the morning, went in, put on the noxious gas, small pinch for an injection, and out in 30 seconds.

I'm never really afraid of stuff like surgery. I figure "Hey! They're going to knock me out with anesthetics, if they mess up and die, I won't feel a thing!". Same with rollercoasters, they're designed not to kill people unless you're pregnant or something. And since I'm not going to be fitting that qualification for awhile.....

lol I remember my last oral surgery with the doctor, my dad was asking questions while I was getting the gas, the doctors couldn't understand him so I had to enunciate through a gas mask >.<, Asian parents.....

When I came out, still a little woozy walking. Came home, slept again until 12, mom wanted me to go upstairs and play video games (that's a first?). Guess she knew sleeping the whole day off probably wasn't a healthy way to start recovery. And I threw up a bunch. Fun........ Apparently when you have surgery, blood actually falls into your stomach and when you throw it up, it comes out black. At least that's how my mom explained it to me, I've learned to not always believe what my mom says.

So I've still got a little bit of pain in me, I'm always so worried, my mom's always asking "does it hurt? does it hurt?" and I'm always thinking "it's a little bothersome, should I take my pain medicine?". My family constantly catches me staring off into space, it might be the drugs or how weird I react towards pain (who knows, I haven't been around pain in awhile, sometimes my mind just does stuff like that). I'm utterly scared of medicine. I can't take pills, it drives me insane. And it's not so much the fear of putting random objects in my body like some of my friends have, I guess it's just that after all these years of eating like a gentleman, I can't just swallow on command -.-.....

All my friends always tell me "But it's so easy!" or "I have to take a million pills!", none of it really comforts me, it actually really bothers me for some reason.

You want to know another thing that really bothers me? When people want to cut my lawn for me. Quit that you jerks, I don't need your sympathy! If there was one thing I would go Columbine over, it's people consistantly asking to cut my grass. I actually hate cutting the grass but I hate people doing it for me even more..... I guess it goes into my whole personality complex of not wanting help that I can't repay.

So I have to be a group leader for Vacation Bible School next week, it's kind of weird, this is the guy who poured out tears and guts when he wanted to not go through Confirmation, and now he wants to lead a group of kids into who knows what in this world? Yea.... Still, it seems like a good CAS hours oppurtunity. I still have this weird sense that I shouldn't be leading kids, if not for the reason stated above, then at least because I'm pretty doped up on pain meds. But you know, what harm can be done!

Maybe if I pump up the J-Pop, I won't realize how lonely this summer is starting...

2009-06-09T15:48:00.002-04:00

Maybe I didn't understand "The Lady of Shallot", but it feels like I'm her and my only view of the world is through Facebook.

.... which isn't bad, heck a lot better than a hole in the wall. It's just an infinite list of people who want to show the world that they've been working out and their usual nonsense. I really haven't gotten a chance to really sit down and talk with anyone about anything since school ended. I've been stuck at home, writing ramblings on my blog.

I started coding again recently. Its a lot more fun, it's this fresh feeling of a skill you hadn't used in awhile, it's new and not new at the same time, the keys crunching under your fingers, one line closer to another bug you have to fix. And no time limit, which is all good.

It did kind of depressed me though, that no one will have this same mind set with me. The good coders are too good. I'll never be able to catch up with them, they're all busy messing with command line and Linux and accessing random files they aren't supposed to access. And the other kids, it was just another grade for them. Get in and get out, plug and play, hit it and quit it. It kind of depresses me how quick we are to jump on something just for a grade and then jump out as soon as the semister is over.

Can you people honestly say you didn't enjoy the first day, typing out System.out.println("Hello World!"); and the next day realizing it wasn't a compiling error when you took out the ln? Or realizing that recursion, the thing that we all hated at first, was actually the funnest part of the exam? Discovering algorithms that would round off to the 2nd decimal point, reading the steps of a sorting algorithm over and over until you could replicate it, and all that nerdy stuff.

It actually gave me a thrill when I derived that rounding algorithm. Just sitting in class, tinkering with random operations and inputting random samples. I don't know why, it techically wasn't anymore special than deriving an area formula for geometry or even just re-arranging the law of cosines, but when me and Andrew submitted the algorithm to the class, I was freaking out when Mr. Roger's got the same answer. I felt like I discovered Newton's Laws or something.

lol... Perhaps I'm just ignorant like that, a little too much pride....

-----------------------------

I attended Southside's graduation, it wasn't too boring. One more day to see my friends before band camp I suppose. They had a solo singer for the National Anthem this time, which was a lot better than when they decided to have a duet last year where they sang it in a weird dissonant chord. But the weird thing that kind of struck me were the speeches given by the IB kids. I honestly don't remember if they even had speeches last year. But I think it was Xiya who spoke of magic and how technology was filling our dreams. I was impressed, not by the speech, but of her actually speaking relatively clearly in front of this audience.

The speech itself had its cliche moments, but overall it was pretty good. It just kind of made me wonder..... What's going to happen to this world when we're out of wonders and mysteries? I mean, it was 50 years ago when we first landed on the moon. I can only imagine that in 1969 kids sat in front of their radios and TV and were amazed by it. But now and even more so in the future, I'm starting to fear that there will be no curiosity of this proportion. Science is no longer geared towards exploration or finding the new. It's about finding the past and preserving the present.

Kids don't believe in the Lochness Monster anymore, Area 51, aliens, all that stuff! Wasn't life more fun that way! When life didn't have instant info gratification that ultimately ended in you forgetting the fact 5 seconds later, where philosophers questioned the basic means of life and how we should live it!

Though I'm just being a kid. Me and Catherine were having a discussion about time travel, I'm sure it exists. Go ask any physics teacher, I'm sure they'll agree. I love the concept of time, the first time I saw a diagram of the Earth spinning with time added as an axis, I was amazed. The various paradoxes that occur, like what would happen if you used a time machine to kill your grandfather, (Though I'm a firm believer you wouldn't exist to kill your grandfather in the first place lol) and how these paradoxes are avoided with other theories of parallel dimensions and all that.

I guess this is the 4th job I've dreamed of having and discussed on my blog lol, though least likely than the rest, knowing how bad I am with math, it's still interesting.
Band Director
Computer Programmer
Sleep Doctor
Physicist

And now I've probably wasted a good hour or so, so I'll leave it at that lol, my childhood dreams and how they've still barely developped after all these years....

Time ^^

2009-06-05T22:21:00.002-04:00

lol I'm sorry I couldn't really be on these days, seems like I'm a little more disconnected from some friends, but at the same time, I'm making a few more. I'm getting back into more online gaming, joined a new clan, and enjoying myself. Plus my cousins came down and convinced me to skip a day or two to spend with them. There's been a lot I've been wanting to blog about, but just no time!

One of these days, I was walking with Catherine and I was complaining a lot about how tired I was, and she popped the question "Then why do you still hang out with me?", which I guess kind of bothered me at the time, like "Really? Can you seriously ask that without expect me to scream in agony?"

A lot came to my mind when she said that. The night before, my neighbors were over to have a party for a friend who was leaving for Spain in a few weeks. And my neighbor grabbed me and talked to me about living a very balanced life. My neighbor does landscaping and various building projects, but he was originally a philosophy major, so he's always talking about history, thought patterns, and stuff like that. Without remembering any specifics, it just sort of made me think. I guess I've always been kind of a chilled, laid back kind of guy. I've seen multiple people break up with their friends, just because they're too busy. I don't want to be that kind of person. I don't want to lose myself in work so much that I lose sight of friends and the enjoying the present. Sure, I don't want to end up poor, but if that ever happened, I'd probably gain insight to a religious revolution and become a priest.

"When you're single, all you see is couples. When you're part of a couple, all you see is hookers."

_________________

As geeky as it may be, I've already begun writing the audition material for the 2010-2011 drumline. I hated how much chaos this year ensued with auditions, it's a surprise that Mr. Wingate puts up with it every year. A whole year to prepare, I want so much out of what I have. I want too much, I write music because I hated playing concert music, I became drum captain because I hate learning a new technique.

I guess I've realized that I hate being a leader. Generally at the end of the year, I just completely lose it. I begin to forget the names of songs, friends, location of music, instruments, sticks. I become extremely arrogant and stubborn and leave no room for mistakes. And most of all, I don't choose to be a leader because I want to have responsibility, or because I want to have prestige. More or less, I was shoved onto it. Too many band decisions are made by people who have the technical skills and not necassarily the maturity. Add that to the ignored fact that seniority != maturity. I shouldn't have power, the only thing I want is to be the power behind the scenes. I need to be making lesson plans, I shouldn't be dealing with discipline or running the show. No one can possibly look at me and expect a leader.

And at the same time, I'm the only one remotely capable of doing it. As I watched the senior drum captain fall, there's no way I could leave, as much as I hated it. So I'll just put up with it.

_________________

There's a lot I'm thinking but a lot I can't say, for the sake of all my friends. I'll continue writing...
_________________

Up was a very good movie! Recommend it, just find a seat where a girl doesn't scream "omg! omg! that was so sad!" and you should be fine. The movie was actually a lot more deep than I thought it was going to be, it wasn't spine-chilling good but I thought it did exceptionally well for modern day standards.
_________________

I think I need a few more perverted friends, a few more friends I can have a quick laugh with. Serious friends are boring to me, it's not them necassarily, it's just I need more people who I can always talk about random stuff to.

Listening to Music?

2009-05-20T21:43:00.002-04:00

I know, it almost seems ridiculous, me listening to music? I'm not the guy performing obnoxiously, imposing my tempo on everyone else? lol just this once I suppose. I guess I've always had a funny taste in music. Most people listen to music for the message it spreads out, the deep, complex symbolism in each line, but I just listen music for.... the music!

If you've been on my new Ipod or haven't ever touched my old one, I normally listen to J-Pop, a little awkward for a Vietnamese boy, I know! Most people can't stand most anime music because its so damn happy. A lot of main stream Japanese music that comes on Yggdrasil radio (anime online radio!) are so focused on super fast crazy, sythesized, pure-sugar injected hyperness, it's insanity. I know most people would consider it trash by most standards, sometimes its worse that rap, it's just in a cuter package ^^.

I do listen to some of the slower stuff though. The above paragraph talked about why the Pop part of J-Pop was awkward, but I don't really know why I continue to listen to Japanese music. I've tried a few Korean and Chinese artists, and I like them, but Japanese continues to stick. I guess some people would like to say alot can be said about what a person listens to. But I don't think anyone but my closest friends really know I listen to this stuff?

Music can be pretty bold sometimes, guess thats why I listen to foreign music. If I have no idea what the heck they are saying, how can I be badly influenced? lol

-----------------------------

I looked up the WGI shows for 2009, they were AMAZING lol, a shame I couldn't go. *sigh* It always impresses me, these show writers. They write these shows on the simplest of things and turn it into something complex and amazing. Like Pulse Percussion's show entitled "Breath", honestly, BREATHING, you can't get weirder than that? But they never run out of original ideas to convey the message. And Rhythm X's "Touch". There is this sheer intesity, this spine tingling you get. Marching shows overload the senses, you have to watch it a bunch just to experience a little bit of everything that goes on.

Ahhh mindless rambling lol, don't want to graph my math homework...

Lost or Found?

2009-05-12T20:37:00.002-04:00

I've been feeling kind of funny lately. I'm in pure happiness but I seek conflict. I know but I don't know, I hate and I love. I just don't like who I am right now but I feel no need to change what holds what appears to be success. But success that brings only content. And contentness that brings moroseness.

I am void of meaning, I return no value to society. Most mornings I honestly think I'm an empty shell that has no friends. Not this is an attempt to garner pity, that's the last thing I want. I'm not depressed, I don't think so anyways. I just wish my life were.... more exciting?

I sometimes wish bad stuff would happen to me. I know it sounds completely ungrateful of me to throw my life away like that for one stupid wish, but I'm tired of going through this monotonous cycle of wearing a mask, pretending to be happy. And sometimes I am happy and sometimes I'm not, but I suppose I pretend to be happy more often so I don't look like a bipolar freak with a 5 second trigger.

I hate people who work really hard. Their strange obsessiveness to increase their chances to get even more work, spending every waking second to improving their mind and destroying their soul. And I hate people who don't do a damn thing, the lazy who manage to get away with wise cracks and a few laughs.

I hate black and white, the concept of right and wrong, and I hate the colorful and abstract. I dislike silence and abhor noise.

I'm honestly tired, tired of being nice and friendly and smiling. I just want to sleep. I want to throw my books into the wall and smash any thought regarding civilization and its manners. And yet I want to stay alive, to become a success in the eyes of others, reach my dreams and help others reach theirs.

Simply put, I hate and love all. If that isn't the most accurate thing I can say for my identity or lack of identity, then I don't know what is.

Ah fuck....

2009-04-18T00:48:00.002-04:00

I'm tending to find that there are not enough hours in a day. I'm starting to cut my sleep, it first started with pushing my bed time but now I'm going to stop having to take naps. Quite honestly, I think this is nonsense. Some of this stuff is an utter waste of my time. Not that I'm not enjoying it while I learn chemistry, but when's the next time I'll be trying to manually find which element is more reactive?

Ah, nothing like practicing a drum solo at midnight. I'll tell you though, listening to a metronome at 70 bpm while you're tired and everything around you is dead quiet.... it'll mess with you, I get goosebumps every time I try.

My solo and ensemble is next week. I wanted to do something really big but I didn't really have the time to pull it together, so I ended up just playing "Legend of a Two-Eyed Soldier" by Edward Freytag. I like it, but it's just so similar to Electric Wheelchair (both military marches) that sometimes I forget what I'm playing and I'll switch back and fourth if I'm tired.

We're learning the piece I wrote for 2009. It's kinda weird, like, there are 6 mallet players this year and 4 last year, but the song sounds so much emptier than last years. In Finale it sounded fine, so I'm hoping that the synthesizer will really fill it out. And I'm always afraid of writing music and actually moving back a step in technicality. It never really hits me until I have the printed music in front of my hand demonstrating how to play it. So I learned my piece, which was a lot easier than last year's. What a shame, but it's alright because new people are playing new instruments, whatever, and I gave the hard parts to the old people.

Economics project, Computer Science project, learning my solo and ensemble piece up to speed, and writing another piece of music to finish the concert. I hate trying to sleep.

Dreams....

2009-04-05T18:00:00.002-04:00

Dreams are pretty amazing things. If I wasn't so much in love with music, my top 2 alternate jobs would be computer programming and a dream researcher. Of course, there's a million computer programmers out there but I have no idea the success rate of a dream researcher. It's still my dream job though (haha no pun intended...). Ever since I was 12, I've been interested in lucid dreams, dreams you can control. Of course, with my increasing workload and ever changing time schedules, I sleep less. In order to compensate, I've been taking naps from 3-5 or 6-7 depending on when I get home. Of course, this is far more punishing than it is rewarding in the long run, but it gives me enough sleep to get through my homework. And I'm far more likely to remember my dreams in a nap than I am to remember them in the morning.

I'm don't think dreams can predict the future. Some ESP and psychic specialists claim that dreams can increase the overall ESP power, and that it is a lot more powerful than intensive attempts to find the future. But I just don't believe that, you'd be pretty hard-strung to find anyone at Southside to believe that. And I don't really believe in dream dictionaries, or rather, I choose not to believe the connections they make. I'm sure that too many worldly influences and inner emotions can change what each image means to a certain individual. Some are right for some, some not. Take it with a spoon of sugar as you wish.

But I do like to believe that dreams are a little more than a repeat of daily activities..... I'm always kind of hoping that maybe, just maybe, they're attempts of your subconscience to reach you. Of course, acknowledging a hypothesis just creates bias over the whole experiment! So perhaps not. Who knows.....

A lot of times my dreams are a little artsy though. Once I woke up to a dream and immediately started writing down a short story. It failed because I lost the dream, that and it was a about the shooting at a school and I couldn't quite figure out how the shooter framed the bystander. And another time, I dreamt I was part of a new theme song for Pokemon, which I knew immediately would be a good marching band piece, I attempted to write it out, but my memory is awful. As soon as I heard the note play out in my speaker, I lost the rest of the melody so the attempt was wasted. And even though I wanted to write this blog to tell you about my dream today, I've pretty much just now realized I've almost completely lost it.

It was the beautiful dream about a guy and a girl. The guy bought her yarn that was woven with a message written on it in a different language. But she only knit a few rows of stiches and eventually forgot about the project. The guy was distraught about this, and the girl had no idea why it was so important to him. So he eventually took her in his arms, guiding her hands to pull each stich apart, rolled the yarn back up, and began to knit. While he knit, he began to sing the story on the yarn to her, and soon they both began to cry in happiness of being together and sharing in such a precious story.

Take that for spinning a yarn!

Yea, I had to skip a few lines down for the awful pun, I should punish myself. I sort of wish I remembered the story or at least even the music but my dream ended abruptly. What a pain..... I sort of want to say that I'm the girl (same with that guy who wrote Lady of Shallot about himself I guess) and that apparently I'm hurting someone because I don't knit? Maybe I'm being too literal. Maybe it's because I don't share the same passion as them, and I don't really attempt to find out why it's so important to this person who is so important to me.

Or maybe it's just a dream lol

A Wonderful White Flurrry....

2009-03-03T12:26:00.003-05:00

I wish all of you a happy last snow day, I'm guessing the streets are definitely clearing up in this heat. It was definitely an awesome 2 day thing, can't believe all the snow we got. I finally got to talk to my neighbors after a year of thinking I was dead. It's a weird thing, I think I only make friends because they happen to fit into my schedule. They just bump into me whenever I HAVE to go somewhere, and they make that one thing special. But I spend more time at school than I do at home. And when I do get home, I'm generally too tired from school to do anything worth meaning. So my neighbors get to see me once every snow day, where I actually venture out of my comfort zone.

But we sled some, threw some snowballs, some prissy girl started whining about it being cold and wet, so me, the girl next door (sister of my old best friend, so hands off!), and my guy neighbor (drumset player, though I've never seen him play >.<), just hung out in the snow. It was pretty relaxing considering I spent the whole day before trying to figure out how to overload some stupid methods for Comp Sci.

Region band ended up sucking pretty bad, despite my high hopes for it. I constantly whine for concert season to come during marching season, and I totally forget that I hate concert season. I think the only important thing I actually LEARN during these kinds of things is how I'm actually supposed to watch the conductor. I'm so used to being the time keeper at Southside, because even Mr. Wingate will give me a little lee-way if I want to take it my speed.

I do hear really interesting stories at this clinics though. My clinician recently went to listen to a professional performance by adults. But the end chair was missing in the woodwind section, and he thought this was kind of weird. I mean, how hard would it be to readjust just the woodwind section, instead of looking like an awkward band? But as they were about the start, the conductor was giving a few notes and introductions. And a 90 year old man in a wheelchair was wheeled out to the empty spot. And it all made sense.

Which is kind of a lame story in itself. But the point my clinician was making was that there is no limit on music. You're not too old or too young to play music. Music is this universal thing that we all can partake in that doesn't require anything more out of us than what we are given. There's a music form for everybody.

And another conductor from the Region band said something else kind of interesting to me..... "You can't standardize music". He, of course, was talking about the economic situtation of music, how in these times, people try to take funding away from musicians and their organizations that provide concerts. But I don't know lol,

Argh I'm bored...

Deaf to Ignorance

2009-02-24T22:21:00.003-05:00

I was listening to music this morning in one ear (habit I've picked up, Jean keeps insisting on talking to me while I enjoy my light pop!). So I was showing him some of my music, and he didn't put the ear bud in his ears, I thought maybe he just didn't feel comfortable with it, or he didn't think it was sanitary. So I didn't think more of it, but when I think out my ear bud, I heard this ringing noise, and I asked Jean about it, he said the music was really loud. Which didn't seem too loud to me actually, I normally listen on a decent volume compared to my friends. But the ringing noise went through the day until my whole left ear seemed completely broken. It had that feeling you get when you get water in your ear, which SUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKSSSSS. Really badly.

So apparently your ears work the same way your eyes do. When you get a lot of noise, your ear actually closes and tries to filter some of the sound out, just like how your iris will get smaller to allow less light in. And the inverse is true, at night, your ear tries to open up to find all sound, so sound in silence isn't louder just because there is nothing to distract you, it's actually your body doing the most to get it.

So knowing this, I tried pulling on my ear, it worked for a little bit, but it closed back in, so I finally got it to sound normal again, I'm just seriously hoping that I didn't do anything to permanently damage my ears....

Bill Bachman, this world famous tenor/ quad (drumset too) player, told us a really sad story. Well when he was young, he played for a bunch of drumlines. He joined them, raised them to championship levels, and then looked at other drumlines, saw the talent there, and moved. But his ears started getting this ringing noise, but he thought nothing of it, it was so small that he'd never notice it over the drumming. When he finally reached the max age to perform in Drum Corp International, he decided to go into teaching, so he instructed various universities, as well as high schools. But the ringing grew louder. So he toned down a bit, he only took part time jobs teaching high schools, which was a little lighter. Eventually he bought some ear plugs that he wore to practice. For a time, the ringing died down, but it was inevitable that it would come back again. And it came to a point where he asked himself, "Is drumming really worth this pain?"

And my heart literately jumped a beat. I was expecting this to be a great moment of overcoming all obsticals, the one true statement that would forever inspire me to be a great percussionist, something that I would be proud to tell my children. But the thing is, he surprised me....

He said no.

I'm like, "Bill, you can't be serious right?", but he didn't change his answer. If I had heard that story in my room alone, I probably would have broken a tear. He decided to retire from the drumming world, letting his image die down. He was afraid that he didn't have an identity anymore, he was so afraid that when people asked him "What do you do?", he'd have nothing to say. He was just left speechless, he wasn't a drummer, he didn't have another job. So after awhile, the ringing gradually died down, and the pain went away. He bought some high-quality custom molded musician ear plugs, and started drumming again. Of course, the ringing came back in small amounts, but he took on the attitude that "if the pains going to come from drumming, it might as well be from my own drumming". And his image didn't die down, he's still widely considered the world champion tenor players that we all used to love.

And there he was Saturday, teaching us with a smile like none of that pain had ever happened.

I'd have no idea what I would do if I was deaf. I was literately scared to think that I had damaged my left ear by listening to music. I went to the nurse's office to see if she could at least give it a look, the bitch didn't even try. I was so pissed at her, thanks a lot. Socially, I think I would be fine, I'm at the age where I can understand mouthings, I understand the language fine and well enough to progress on at a normal rate. (I feel so bad for people with deafness at a young age, I can't even understand how they get through). But music is such an important thing in my life that I doubt I could really enjoy life without it.

Please, protect your ears, and your children's ears. Noise pollution is one of the easy things we can control, so just suck it up and do it.

A trendy-end friend...

2009-02-04T19:35:00.002-05:00

I don't know why, but I got a really sad feeling today just remembering stuff. Nothing too horrible, it's just.... I haven't talked to a lot of friends lately. People I used to spend everyday with I talk to maybe.... once a week. And I'm not going to say I hate having my close circle of friends, but it feels like being connected with those friends stops you from being friends with other people. Like you really want two groups of friends to get to know each other, and you're completely oblivious to why they almost never associate with each other without you, even though they pass each other every day.

Personally, I think I'm alright about not being shy, (however weird that may sound! Just consider the younger Daniel Vu, who barely spoke and when he did, it was to give a wrong answer) It's just that sometimes you get claustrophobic in that circle, and you get tired of routine day after day. You see the same people, they always give you the same reaction to everything, it just gets monotonous. I've definitely made some cool, random friends that I just meet off the streets, like the little girl at Falls Park who's mom makes swing sets for a living, and the Clemson drummer who happened to be drumming to one of my favorite cadences I heard off of YouTube. And when I meet them, the moment I leave, I think "man! that was so amazing!", and I have this feeling like it had the biggest impact on my life and they did. But thinking back, my memory fades, and I haven't contacted any of them since.

But sometimes I'm such a jerk about it. Like, I don't even try to reconnect with old pals that I know I could and should. Normally I don't meet a tightly knit group in video games, everyone's mostly just looking out for themselves. But I met some cool guys like the half Viet, half Chinese kid who designs graphics and websites, the girl from the Netherlands who models (lol she was kinda cute, web cam) and was interested in the Da Vinci Code, her friend who wanted to hook up with me (on the internet?), the beatboxer who completely acted like an asshole when he lost but was a really cool guy. And I met all of these people online in games. And as cool as these people are, I won't lie, I've blocked them on my AIM list, I avoided them in the games, everything. I've tried to stop, but I just get angry everything someone messages to me when I'm messaging my real life friends, even though I only speak to them once a year, if any.

So to all my friends, past and present, I'm sorry for anything I've done! It's been on my mind, so I just needed to let it out!

lol omg, a retraction?

2009-01-25T22:14:00.005-05:00

Yes, it is surprising. I have to retract a statement I said before. Well, two statements, but one was legitly not my fault. Because of how the honor band system works, a few drummers got knocked up to All-State level and now I'm 3rd alternate for Regions! So that means if 3 people don't get sick, then I get to perform in an alternate band! *Life is sweet!*

That, and Microsoft has absolutely amazed me with Windows 7. I downloaded it today, which was pretty smart, I heard just the release crashed Microsoft's servers (and how this wouldn't have happened and the release would have been exponentially faster if Microsoft had been using a p2p system ^_^' ). I started the download before church, came back downloaded, which was convenient. Regestered for a beta key, burned the ISO to a DVD (all out of DVD-RW's btw, nice gift option? lol), and waited until night to install. Reason I did this was because I knew I wasn't going to be able to use it during the install so I needed to get my gaming time down. To much surprise, it took 30 minutes to install, a new record for me in installing any operating system. (Even Gamer XP, a stripped down version that should have barely anything on it but Windows XP!)

Biggest change is the taskbar, which apparently is a change to the Mac idea. Which isn't bad, it's actually a really nice idea, but I just hate hearing about it "OMGWTFUXOR, MICROSOFT JUST STOLE APPLES IDEA!" SHAD UP MAC FAN BOYS! Let me enjoy this beta while I can.

So the taskbar no longer shows individual applications, it actually uses an icon, just like an icon would look like on the desktop. So when you open Internet Explorer, it "highlights" the icon, and you can roll over the icon, and it will show a preview of the window, and if you click the preview, it will open it. If multiple windows are open, multiple previews will show up, and the taskbar isn't cluttered.

These taskbar icons are all rearrangeable, which was, if you remember my last post, my biggest rant. So yea, kudos to you, Microsoft! Managed to please the average 16 year old Asian boy!

Not only that, the system icons (like the area that shows network notification, holds the audio settings) are also rearrangeable. Rather than using the "extend" idea, where if you press the arrow, you can see icons you don't normally use, there is now a button that opens a small little window that shows it to you. It doesn't sound very exciting, considering how I described it XD, but it really is, in my oppinion, a nice improvement.

There's one secret feature that not many people are advertising that really blew my mind. The "Aero Shake" feature, it allows you to grab the title bar of an application, "shake" the window left and right and the other windows besides it will be minimized. Of course, there's no neat little animation of the window actually shaking, nor does it factor in how far you shake it or which windows are touched by the shaking. And the cool thing is, you can let go, and reshake it, and all the windows you just minimized will all pop back up. Not more, not less, whatever was open gets reopened. But this is definitely one of those things I'm going to be looking for in the full release. I'm hoping that the reason they kept a secret is to add in those factors I've mentioned, but we'll just have to wait a see.

Other things include major improvements to Windows Calculator, letting you do stuff like literately write in binary and unit conversions, to Microsoft Paint, WordPad (lol yea, we all use Notepad, but WordPad? Now it actually looks like a convincing strip down of Microsoft Word 2007 XD, not like an obsolete piece of program written for the 90's)

Not going to say it doesn't have it's learning curves, but I haven't come to hate much of it so far. I can't say I hated too much of Vista (though I have to say, anyone who participated in the Mojave experiment must have been a retard living under a rock). I didn't love the changes they made to the navigation, even after the learning curve, I still have trouble finding obvious stuff. Like the move away from the tab system in Windows Vista when making customization, User Account Control being extremely strict, and marketing (lack of ACTUAL recovery CD = crappy partion, computer makers puting "Made for Vista" stickers on the computer when it actually doesn't even meet the requirements,) small stuff like that. My first Windows Vista computer (was my sister's) completely crashed on me constant basis.

lol yep..... going to keep testing it, we'll see how far it goes...

The One Thing Ruining a Perfect Day....

2009-01-23T23:41:00.003-05:00

If you haven't heard (doubt anyone has....), Carolina Force recently had to move its location to Columbia, which sucked because I wasn't going to pay 600$ and travel down to Columbia just to play drums. It was previously located at Riverside Highschool but certain circumstances wouldn't allow them to practice there or at Southside (Brooks is such a jackass...). So they relocated to Columbia in attempt to search for new members. And then they cancelled all events until further notice due to lack of members.

I wasn't too affected by this, I had already been iffy to joining it in the first place. But I'm always iffy about everything new I do. Honestly, I didn't want to marching band when I first started. But my friend's mom asked and she had done so much for me in my life time that there was no way I could say no -.-...... and I actually loved it so much, it was a new found passion in my life that nothing will ever replace.

Winter Guard International (WGI) is the association that organizes all indoor drumline activities. And they have this one rule that is kind of strange to think about. It states that you can't join an independent drumline if there is a scholastic one avaible to you, which basically says, if you're school has a drumline, you can't join an independent line (which is open to everyone). I know this is the way to make it fair so that everyone can make a line, but..... it's so hard to find enough members. Every band director knows that the further you go out into the country, the better the players are. It's true, they have nothing better to do but practice all day!
And Carolina Force isn't the only one that dropped out of WGI because of stuff like this. Verdigris Winter Ensemble dropped out this season too. So unless you have a decent ride to Palmetto Percussion (which is also in, you guessed it, Columbia!), you're pretty much out of luck. WHICH IS COMPLETELY UNFAIR, god, it's like the only way to make sure you can compete is to buy your own damn drums and breed a bunch of babies that all play on the same skill level as you, then register as an all-age, independent group. That's how complicated finding a line is to me.

So while it's kind of cool to be in a location where a lot of schools are good, MY school doesn't have ANYTHING. My drum instructor is so intent on trying to spread percussion to non-percussionist uses childish tactics and songs that it makes me want to throw up. He consistantly gives us "novelty" percussion (this is a constant theme with my instructor, if you're getting a "deja vu" moment, it's because I said the exact same thing almost a year ago, sometime in April or May) , supposedly to test our reading level. BUT THAT IS NOT COOL TO US. I don't care how much you hype it up that "we'll be playing on trashcans with glow in the dark sticks! And the floors will be flowing with mist!" WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP, QUIT WASTING MY TIME. And you know what the worst part of it is? I have to suck it up and enjoy it intensely and convincingly, because if the leader isn't enjoying it, the chances of the other members enjoying it even 1 percent is slim to none. You know how hard it is to get teens to enjoy doing something designed for 5 year olds?

I'm not letting another year slip by, I can't keep wasting time like this..... I'm freaking 16 and I haven't marched an indoor show yet, even my sister got to play in one and she's 14. I know I wasn't really mad for myself when I started writing this. I was more writing this because I felt bad for my friend Gerald, who's chances in music are also lying in stuff like this. We're sort of a like, we don't have much besides music, we both want to compose, we both like trying to spread our skills out as far as possible to every instrument possible, and we both work hard to reach our goals. But I've got the edge of family who, even though don't fully support drumming, suport me. So I know he's got it rough. And I really hope the best for him, so it just pisses me off when one of those golden moments, that tiny little light that seems so close that you can grasp it, is taken away.

Rant....

Blog blogdemo = new Blog(Math.random());

2009-01-21T20:23:00.002-05:00

I honestly cannot get my mind off programming these days, it's sad. The love of my life, music, has been slowly replaced with Java. Not completely of course, if there's a choice between coding after school and practicing on a nice marimba, my choice is still going to the marimba. (Though it's kind of getting tough these days, that practice room is COLD). I was talking to Amit and tried asking him for help and somehow he said "Oh, I don't like coding much, I'm more of a person who finds mistakes and figures out things" (I think that's what he said). And I thought that was the stupidest thing in the world, how can you be like that. And then I sit there thinking.... OH, I'M LIKE THAT!

I don't hate coding really, it's interesting. But I'm so dependent on the API and so bad at math that I don't really just say "Hey, it's a for loop checking the arrays and adding the factorial of x to the multiplicity of the roots of this function!". I like making GUI's pretty! I have fun trying to find why certain code won't compile.

I've dipped my finger in various pots over the years, had my handle on a few programs that a lot of kids my age honestly don't even know about. Not to say that I'm a genius (actually, pretty much all of the IB program has done what I've done and more, but we're talking average kids here!), but as far as computers go, I can definitely hold a conversation, which is saying a lot more for anything else considering who I am. But as I go through some programs, I sort of think, "Hey...... this is rather counter intuitive.....". Like I always think "Why are these two functions linked?" or "This option isn't open, but why?"

Like in Pyware, a marching band drill designing software, when you go to create 10 marchers in a circle, those marchers are linked to each other. Any edit you make to one will affect the other, and if you want to unlink them, then you have to use the knife tool to cut them. I imagined this would be kind of cool, like cutting the individual links between the marchers, allowing you to make a curve to one section while keeping the other section in a hold. But it didn't work that way.

Why aren't we able to adjust what the application order is in the taskbar? I constantly open BlueJ and iTunes at different times, so I have my browser windows mixed in with my code windows, mixed in with my music players and it's all over the place. I don't want to have to close all the windows and reopen them in the order that I want them in. The drag tab feature was added into Firefox, which truly blew my mind. I'm just wondering why they haven't done it for Windows Vista.

Along the same line, they should include application layering. Don't try to google it, I did and was disappointed =.=.... Basically my idea for it is if you have a group of applications (like the class window, code, and applet window open for BlueJ), it will let you save this as a layer, and the applications in the taskbar will combine into one item in the taskbar, and whenever you click on this layer icon, it will popup the windows exactly the way you positioned them. This way, you can place code on the left side and the output on the right side, and not have to worry constantly about having to resize them. If it wasn't constricted to which applications could be combined, this idea would be AWESOME!

And fix proprietary file issues -.-..... QUIT BEING A JERK, LET YOUR DOCUMENTS BE OPENED WITH OTHER APPLICATIONS MICROSOFT! and fix the school's security system so that it protects without being a Nazi.

I'm sure there's more, like getting rid of the tabbing system when we transitioned from XP to Vista, what the heck were you thinking Microsoft? But those are the major ones..... Now if only we could get the PC companies to stop bundling crap on the computer and stop trying to limit overclocking, and actually find a way to use P2P as a reliable source of good, clean software, this world would be perfect.

A house != a home.....

2009-01-19T09:22:00.002-05:00

I'm going to try to stray away from my usual music post, although I've been impressed with the increase of people commenting on them, I can't stop but feel that I've been kind of redundant with those topics, as I'm pretty sure that I've done them on previous websites and blogs.

This four day weekend..... not as fun as planned. I would have been happy just playing with my new computer, watching anime on a nice 19 inch monitor, and finishing up Wuthering Heights in my sun room, occasionally looking out on a nice warm day.

But NOOOOOO...... the floors are being redone, so the house reeks of chemicals. I was driving home with my car pool and here I find my sister stuck outside. I was hoping it was a minor misunderstanding, that she had just lost her keys or something. But this was the first time where she did have her keys (omg wow amazing!!! XD), but we couldn't step on the floor. So I tried to break into our house using a ladder. (For all the stalkers out there, my window is always open) This is the point where I re-realize that my sister is a complete wuss in the face of authority -.-..... she starts screaming "NO DANIEL! STOP! DANIEL! STOP!!!! ARGHASGHA!". She was being really annoying, and considering someone was supposed to be picking us up and our stuff up really soon, she was sure stopping me, not because I actually bought into her fear that I was going to fall down, but out of the fear that our neighbors might actually care what I'm doing. (psssh, please, falling down? Not that hard to climb onto our roof.)

Eventually we managed to get into our attic via the ladder blocked by all the furniture! Fun! Moving furniture with a still-screaming sister in the background! Eventually got all my stuff, opened all the windows and doors, and forced my sister up the ladder. (took FOREVER)

So we're staying at our uncles house until Thursday I believe, there is NOTHING to do. I actually speant time working on my big project in the sky, and wasted the rest of the day away. Went to the mall with Catherine, which was sort of pleasent. We were in the car and I was thinking "hmm, this is taking really long, which mall are we going to?". Of course, I wasn't going to say it, I'm not driving! So Catherine does! XD, and her mom starts screaming at Catherine and her sister (mostly her sister) because her mom was driving to the Gaffney Outlet and they wanted to go to Haywood Mall. Yep..... Awkward much.... I think I can deal with English screaming, but Chinese screaming sounds awful! aslgkhaslgha MALL lkgjalsgjal MALL klgahsgklasg MALL! Feel free to fill in the blanks if you can.

Drumming all day and night, hoping my uncle doesn't care. I finally learned my audition music, even though I dropped out of the audition and it was like, a month ago =.=.... Really going to miss Carolina Force, but I'm hoping my teaching at Southside will really mean something come time for the concert.

Sometimes.... it's best not to be best.....

2009-01-13T22:31:00.002-05:00

I think being the best at something will, in a lot of cases I've seen, make you a little bit darker. I think the light of the world is fueled by curiosity, by the "oohs" and the "ahhs" that just make us want to continue working under others to understand. But when you become the best at something, that drive.... it's just gone. You should never assume you're the best, even if you are the best in that certain field. You have to keep growing, I think one of the deadly sins should be "being content". Being content is the enemy of progression.

A lot of the bests get really cocky. Not all, but most. I recently started reading the Young Composers Forum, and it was really interesting. And there was this one guy I really admired for his oboe/ piano duet composition. But in another post, he totally bashed another guy for writing a marching band show. Which really bothered me, good marching bands are able to present more than what could be presented sitting down (with added intsrumentation and wider range of avaible techniques), while adding the visual aspect to it.

They had a contest where you had to write a piece that demonstrated the theme "What is music? What is un-music?", that really blew my mind. I hate it when people try to determine what is music and what is not. Music is a pattern of frequencies that is pleasing to the ears, don't you try and tell me what music isn't!

http://www.composersforum.org/programs_detail.cfm?oid=10452&section=
I was watching this video of a lesson on graphic notation for music. It was kind of interesting. If you didn't know, graphic notation is basically using lines to dictate pitch and legnth in music. So a trill would be like a wave and if a line goes up, the pitch goes up. I thought this was a brilliante way of teaching music. Because ultimately, the notes (C, D, etc) mean nothing. Think about it, notes are just names we gave to certain frequencies. It's more about the interval change that really matters.

I think graphic notation should be the first step to teach toddlers (and I really mean toddlers, ones that can speak) music theory. It looks a lot less intimidating really (or at least to me), and it allows people to focus on the overall shape of the music rather than the individual notes. This would be a better step for younger composers who wish to write but have no idea where to start. Graphic notation, combined with a good mentor, would be a nice step into composition.

Honestly, I have no idea where kids are getting composition lessons. It just kind of seems like I'll go to college without much of feel for it. Even if I am just teaching music, I defintely see a need for composition in my life.

A Failure of Epic Proportion

2009-01-11T19:52:00.002-05:00

I was at Greer High School all day Saturday, I ran in with my sister, fully knowing that it was her audition first, followed by my audition 3 hours later. I felt good, I was relaxed, the thrill of seeing other drummers practice on pads, getting to swap drum sticks with others to review whats out there, listening on to people babble on the list of terms and feeling confident that I knew them all.

Three hours later...

I walk into the judging room with the snare drum I borrowed from Hughes Middle School, barely grasping onto the 2nd pair of drumsticks I had to borrow that day because of mixed up bags. I started with my rudiments, my hands unable to slow down even though my head told me I really needed to. I couldn't differentiate the difference between RLRRLL LRLLRR and RLRLRR LRLRLL. In the end, I just gave up trying to make a difference and just played whatever would get me out of there. I ran through my solo, I had tried to change too much right before the audition because my teacher/friend told me to. I should have known better than that. I sight read the piece...... not really, I more just looked at how black the page was and tried to interpret darkness into time. When the terms came up, I looked at them for one second, screamed the terms as fast as I could, and ran out of the room.

It was bad, if you couldn't tell.

My family is musical, my sister made the region band on mallets last year, she's also performing Beethoven's Pathetique for MTA's, my other sister is also a piano player, my dad played guitar, my uncle played violin for national Vietnamese TV. And I really like to think that I'm relatively musical, but..... do you ever have that feeling that that certain skill you attach yourself to isn't really what your made out to be? I don't know whether or not failures knock you into proportion or out of proportion, but how can you NOT feel out of place when something like this happens?

I was making cat 5 cables for my home network today, I've always considered myself somewhat tech-y, I've been able to keep up with most advances and trends, so I've always thought that was going to be my backup if I ever needed to. Being a band director would be my dream job, but it just doesn't seem very likely....

And yes, I just stole Nia's OO topic title for this lol

Horton Hears a What?

2008-12-29T13:21:00.003-05:00

"Let this be a lesson to one and to all,
A person's a person
No matter how small"

If you haven't seen it, Horton Hears a Who! is a great movie for EVERY age! I've seen it three times, (once in movie, twice on DVD), and I cry everytime XD. But I still haven't read the original book, which is a shame really, I heard the movie and the book don't exactly follow the same path (or maybe that certain review just sounded a little weird...).

Personally, I'm not totally against a movie going a little off-course from the book, I understand the need for practicality of time for directors. And sometimes, I actually appreciate it a little more that way, it's like watching a different point of view. You get to thinking "Hey, that was pretty interesting, what would happen if they changed that factor?"

But of course, I don't want too much change, I want to at least be able to recognize the major points in the book and movie >.<, but I think a lot of people are missing out on some good movies just because they DO read the book, which is a shame. We're more prone to point out the things that were missing rather than talk about the good points of the film. (Harry Potter being the one most massacred on this one!)

Everytime I watch the movie though, I always feel the desire to try and pinpoint a moral in the movie and find all supporting evidences of it. We all knew that Dr. Suess wrote stuff like this, hiding a deeper message within a childrens story. I could have sworn that it was about the struggle between science and the Church, where a new finding in science will be challenged by the Church, and the Church will persecute the idea. Which didn't seem like a half-assed idea I thought, really, I didn't really know if Suess was a Christian or not so....

Actually, if you look it up on Wikipedia, they say the quote (above) has been used to support Pro-Life campaigns, and Suess was going to sue them for it XD, jeeze people, maybe you should go ask for permission first before you paint a child's story with your messages.

Plus the soundtrack just kicks butt! It definitely had some powerful instrumental backing, along with the Who's trying to make sound to be saved, that, my friend, was a truly memorable piece of art.

New Years Resolution

2008-12-27T22:03:00.002-05:00

I'm kind of dreading New Years Resolutions, I never complete them (all it is is to gain more weight! gosh!), and I'm starting to feel like I'm setting my expectations of life too high. I mean, it's nice to aim high (aim for the moon and even if you fail, you'll still land in the stars), but you still get that feeling of desperation come deadline time.

I think percussionist have it out bad if they can't decide which instrument they want to major on...... I decided a few nights ago that I should actually build my music library with some classic repertoire, but I hate paying for music =.=, just something in me that really hates driving to Pecknel, finding a piece of music that looks decently hard, and getting home to find that it's extremely easy/ super hard. It's not like melodic instruments, where you can get free music that people would love to hear from your average band director. The stuff we get for free is generally repetitive and dull, not to mention that there's a slim chance that the music won't teach you anything new or technical.

So I'm going for it, going to start making my list of songs I need to learn before I graduate.
__________________
Yellow After The Rain (4 mallet marimba)
Dream of the Cherry Blossom (4 mallet marimba)
Prism (4 mallet marimba)
Xylophonia (ensemble with solo for xylophone, not really a classic but it's a traditional rag time piece XD)
Flight of the Bumble Bee
Downfall of Paris (snare)

Drumline Stuff- See, this stuff is easy to get, the drumline sharing community is so gigantic, but they keep getting shut down by copyright infringments, so I have most of this stuff.... I just need to learn it!
Electric Wheelchair (drumline warmup- snare)
Ditty (drumline warmup- snare)
Tornado (snare)
Grievous Groove (snare)
Africa Hot (snare)
Cheezy Poofs (snare)
Year of the Ram (snare)

It's so unfair how drumlines share music, but mallet players don't -.-..... Honestly people, all you can find on the internet for pitched percussion is basic four-mallet warmups.

This isn't a complete list of every piece I need to learn, but these go first. Of course, Keiko Abe just HAD to invent the 5 octave marimba and write millions of pieces for it =.=..... She's really brilliant though, I really suggest youtubing her, and check out her Wikipedia for a toughing story.

I probably want to add all rotations of the Texas All-State solos, Jesus, there music is HARD, I mean, our solos are all the same on the different levels, they just rotate them each year. Texas man, I know they have to divide through all the snares, but I just could not live there and make it out alive.

P.S.- If anyone can tell me the name of this piece in English, I'd love them forever
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01EUv_EgNXc&feature=channel_page

lol Blessed Chirstmas everyone!

2008-12-25T19:28:00.003-05:00

^---- my priest told me to say it, but I forgot all the supporting details. To be honest, I sorta took a nap during church, but I will repent!!

lol I'm just a giddy little boy, though my gifts were very mature this year. And not even the sexy kind of mature, just the nice meaning of it. Got some hot chocolate (thanks Lizzie!), a mug (how appropriate, I'm almost sure Lizzie's in a plot with my neighbors to get me to enjoy the fine art of brewery....), a Hello Kitty doll (love it Catherine, I don't care about what everyone else thinks of it XD), an Beijing Olympic doll (I can't explain that one, my aunt went to China), and a computer monitor.

Yes, I will now dedicate this paragraph to persuade you to buy a new monitor for yourself. Honestly, I didn't think I needed a new monitor, I have like, 5 in my closet that are perfectly fine. But you won't realize how much more amazing it is until you own it! I know this is so stupid of me, but it took me awhile to realize the screen was bigger! (LOL, please laugh at me so I can feel better). I started coding on it, and was thinking "wow, I can actually have AIM up, two blocks of code, and the class organization screen all open and it not strain my eyes....", so if someone ever gives you a monitor, at that EXACT moment, you need to drop whatever the heck you're doing, and give them a gigantic hug.

Bought Blokus for my sisters, we're enjoying it thoroughly, even though I've some how gotten really bad at this game XD, Maria actually enjoys stretegy board games, which I find kind of weird. I was almost assured she was the only person in the world who actually enjoyed Triominoes (triangle domino variation, uggh x_x).

I feel kind of bad for my sister Maria, she got a tea infuser (wtf is that? plz explain...), a glass set (I guess that's the best explanation, it had like.... a sake cup, a candle, and a picture frame all made of glass), two English books (I know she wants to be an author, but they were books about how to write NON-fiction, poor girl...), and Wii Music.

Well, Wii Music actually isn't a bad gift, I love it! (but all my respectable gaming sites gave it mediocre reviews... not EVERY game has to be competitive!), but I don't know if she liked it or not, my uncle gave it to her. If you didn't know, Wii Music lets you control a variety of musical instruments using the wiimotes, you have no control of pitch (which is understandable, I'd get stressed out trying to figure out the proper pitches =.=), you only have rhythm and other things like arpegios, tremmelos, and glissandos, which is all good, that's all I need! I don't care if it's pretty restrictive on first sight, it's got some depth to it, and I could easily just sit back and enjoy listening my sisters play it. Something about horn instruments (you only have to press 2 buttons! so easy!) that I just can't do and make it sound beautiful (electronic instruments? Beautiful? XD)

Other than that, I'm going to try to hang out with Catherine as much as I can, I'm probably going to quit writing music for the year (lol nice try Daniel, tired yourself too early), and study my brains out. If anyone's up for doing a massive studying session for anything, send me a heads up!

Christmas Break!

2008-12-20T12:33:00.002-05:00

Christmas break is finally here! A few weeks of boredom followed by the sudden realization that I should have used that time to study for the exams! Not really planning on going anywhere, Catherine’s parents offered me a ride with them to the beach, but I’m just worried with being with them for 2 days straight, I’m almost sure (I think 99% chance?) I’d do something awful that would completely change their view of me. Sometimes I’m even afraid to solve a Rubik’s Cube in front of people just because of how I feel they would think of me. So next time you think it’s going to be an awesome icebreaker for me…. (lol jk jk), my sister bought me a present I don't know about, and a Rubik's Magic (loving it but I think I broke it x_x), and my younger sister and me bought my baby sister Blokus (sorry to those who wanted to buy me it XD lol) and we all played Uno, which is an early Christmas present!

I’ve actually been spending my time writing music for the winter drum line. Which is rather pointless, considering that he’s buying music for us anyways, and it’s 10x better. But I think it’s cool to hear what I can make. And I’ve gotten a lot better since the last piece I wrote. I was looking back on it and I was thinking, “omg, thank God I had a decent drum set player”. I honestly submitted my piece without a decent bass line. I mean, the marimba had some groove and it’s lower pitched, but it didn’t fill the emptiness. (But hey, even if I did, we wouldn’t have enough players XD)

This time around though, I decided to add a synthesizer, and at first, I HATED the Synth, I just thought it was plain cheating. Of coure, DCI legalized the use of electronics, (because all the bands wanted to use vocals and phrases in the music LOL “When you master the basics, you can get this!” *amazing drum solo* - so cliché) but it still didn’t feel right. But I’ve come to accept it, but just because Mauldin High did it =.=, they’re a gigantic band, but they used the Synth for some special effects, so I don’t blame them. Southside uses a synth to make up for the lack of numbers, which is understandable, but other people just don’t get it, screaming “OMG, BE A REAL BAND! GET RID OF THE PIANO!” *reference to old blog post =.=*

I think the problem with me writing music is that I can’t do it over a long period of time. I mean, if I don’t get it finished within the first day, then I’m screwed, because I won’t ever want to work on it again. Which is kind of a pity, because I can get some pretty cool sounding stuff, it just never works its way out. I mean, I spent like 3 days on Langham Creek and got bored with it, which was terrible because I know I should have spent a lot more time on developing it. But I’m going to try to spend all of Christmas break on this one, I mean, what else am I going to do?

My current piece is actually supposed to be a whole entire show that’s going to (at least I hope so) last 6 minutes. I think the theme is going to be “Childhood memories”, with the three movements, “Purity and Innocence”, “The Essence of Procrastination and Chill”, and “Maturity”. What’s interesting about it (or at least I think so) is that I want to make It all at 80 BPM. I want it so that if anyone ever needed to conduct it, they would think 80 BPM, and if that certain section changed from slow to fast, they would stop subdividing quarter notes and switch to subdividing 8^th notes. Of course, I’ve only written the first and second movement (and only half of each XD) so I don’t know if that will be possible lol.

And of course, if anyone is interested, we’re always looking for more people to perform with us! Join the Southside Drumline!

*And if you don’t like a performance commitment, then I’m giving percussion lessons for those who are interested!*

Darn those YIGgers....

2008-12-06T22:18:00.002-05:00

lol ha, just kidding, love you guys. Can't believe I lasted 3 days without you guys....

We finally had our last parade today, and we all know what that means.... IT'S THE BEGINNING OF CONCERT SEASON!! WOOT YEA HOORAY!

x_x, not really. I generally hate marching band and can't wait for concert season, but then I get back to concert season and want to go back to marching band. I'm just never content. I don't really think there is another instrument that is as fundamentally changed as the drum is when you change genres. It's just a completely different thing. Like with horns, you want a dark, rich tone in concert, but you have to have a piercing noise when you're outside. But that's just a change in dynamics really. (A few other factors...). Where with the drums, you have to change dynamics, change sticks (that really is a pain in the ass), change all open rolls to buzz rolls, and stand still rather than march, (maybe that's just me lol)

And I can't do Carolina Force because they can never find their own place to stay, and I guess this makes them look un-legit (like bums) in my mom's mind. I didn't argue, I didn't even expect to pass the tryouts. Honestly, I thought Southside was the only place that had the "Hey, if you want to do it, we'll find a spot for you" attitude, but I guess I was wrong.
________________________________

I've been singing a lot more recently, like for real. Not that crap you guys heard at the IB Social. Lyrics have always been a strange thing to me, no matter how many times I used to listen to the song, I could never just sit down and appreciate the lyrics. Whenever the song came up at a party, I'd try to sing a long but the words just wouldn't come to me. I know the lyrics are a cool little entity that should be appreciated on their own, but I can't help but to listen to the drums or melody. So singing is fun, even with old songs, they feel new all over again, just because I have a different oppinion on what the song means. I don't think people should be embarassed to sing, or do anything when you think about it. I think everyone would be a little happier if, when life calls for them, they would just try risking a little dignity to see something new.

Christmas List
- Blokus
- A pair of concert snare drum sticks.
- A CD of your favorite songs, not mine.

Happy Turkey Day!

2008-11-30T20:06:00.002-05:00

Well I had a pretty amazing Thanksgivings weekend, despite some bummers near the end! It's clear I gained something more important than a few pounds (and looking at me, that's saying something). I went up to Nebraska for Thursday-Sunday, and had a BLAST! Which was weird, because I was sort of expecting it to kind of suck. I mean, I've never been really close to my family, I hardly know half their names, but now I think they're bearable lol.

The plane rides up were actually alright ^^, security was pretty light, only made Maria give up her lotion ("SURRENDER YOUR LOTION!"). Of course, she complained non-stop about how she was ashy, but you know, as far as Maria can get, it was alright. Ended up drawing a manga (comic) about our adventures through the airport, and I'm still contemplating whether or not to add the crappy ending.... maybe I'll romance it up a bit XD.

(BTW, to all of those kids who joked that Nebraska has no Asians, you are SOOOOOOOOO wrong! Even for just the airport, it was noticable. There's hell a lot more up there than down here, and they're cute too! *would even admit for the guys*, lol just to piss my sister off, I made a game where I jabbed her in the elbow everytime there was a cute Asian girl)

When we made it up into Nebraska, my cousins were pretty much dead quiet, so I mean, yea, I was feeling sort of right to feel worried about the vacation. But apparently they were just like that because we still had to go to church after it. Which was all good, I mean, it was in Vietnamese so I couldn't understand a single word of it besides Amen lol, so I used the time to pray for Catherine. But the church itself was pretty bad, people were talking and texting and walking around, one kid even had music blasting from his PSP during the mass -_-...... Gah, I was so ashamed/ angry at all of them!

Well for months, Theresa (my age girl cousin on dad's side, all of my family in Nebraska is on dad's side) and Vincent (her bro) were spreading rumors about me looking exactly like another one of my cousins. As much as it bothered it, he sort of does (maybe I don't look myself in the mirror enough to see the closer resemblences, I'm just sorta like "woah, he's Asian and sorta my height!"). But the joke got old, and I had to keep playing along with it x_x....

And we just screwed around for a few days. We played Blokus, which is this cool game where you have a grid and pieces (that are sort of tetris like, some have more/less pieces) and you try to place them so that only your corners touch and none of your edges touch, and you try to block people and get rid of all your pieces. <<<<<< Officially one of the top things on my Christmas list. That and people to play with.

And we played monopoly, where one person bought all the ghetto properties but couldn't build on them, one person hoarded all the one dollar bills and totally destroyed all forms of convenient transactions (yea, in the end, those two ended up teaming up, stupidest idea ever lol), and another person who I teamed up with, pretty much gave all my properties to in order to get her to pay for ALL of my hotels, and totally got yelled at for being cheap.... even though that's kinda the point of the game XD, course, we got lazy and didn't bother to count the cash at the end, but we all know who won ^^

One of my uncles is the founder of Skyvu, an animation company that's working on the new movie, Coraline, which is supposed to come out in theaters in 2009. (Here's his IMDB page). And he showed up a bunch of demos of the movie, which were awesome! But even more awesome was the room he did his work in. It was this gigantic room filled with computers (and a ping-pong table >.<), one end had several computers hooked up to dual-monitors, the other end of the room had a Mac Powerbook on a gigantic flat-screen TV, in the middle there was a cluster (he said Beowulf is only a term used for Unix systems but I'll look it up later) computer with 8 computers, it was amazing! God, I'm so jealous x_x.....

The last night out, we ended up pulling out all the instruments and started doing live karioke XD, Vincent (younger than me, mind you) got his own electronic drumset as a present (yea, too many drummers in this family, we need more guitarist or atleast one bass!), while all I have is accoustic!!!! Why does everyone in Nebraska have better stuff than me! lol eh, I'm always worried about playing in front of people though, it's kind of weird..... same with my sister and competitions, we like to take the lessons, but when it comes to competitions (sister) or playing in front of people (me and both of my other 2 sisters), we just don't want to do it.

lol it's kind of hard for me to judge drumset though... I know enough to get through some melodies (it's pretty much saying the same thing as "I know all my major scales on the piano!"), but I don't do anything impressive. But my cousin was only alright. so who knows XD, they kept asking me to play but I hate playing for slow songs, I never know what to do! Like, whatever would normally sound alright to me outside of the set sounds awful inside of it! So I make it all complicated and it really does sound awful >.<

We tried to stay up to watch "The Notebook", but I was the only guy there, it was 2 in the morning, and the movie was sooooo boring! Gosh! I mean, heck, even I will watch a boring movie to cry, but it didn't even make me cry! I hate Nicholas Spark's movies! The books are great, what happened!

And my return trip was hell to the 20th power..... Had to wake up at 4 in the morning, drive in the cold (it was snowing! a little bit lol), and go through tougher security (they took my toothpaste!!). Then in the afternoon, something happened where we missed our flight so we had to wait another 3 hours just to get on a plane. I thought we missed the call, but my mom said it was unfair they didn't try to call us personally, they did for other gates, and they gave our tickets away!! We ended up getting home at 6 instead of at 2 like we should have, so I was just mad about that.

And all this time Catherine has been trying to call me, she's doing better, but sometimes I don't understand what she's saying, or I have this feeling she's confused throughout the conversation. I just hope she's alright.

So in the end, I gained like, 2 pounds (I'm not a major lover of turkey! Even with gravy, it's still not my thing!!!), I met the most coolest cousin of mine on my dad's side! (Her name is Anna and her sister is Miya, they're 11 and 9. And they're geniuses, but Anna is quiet, which is nice out my family, I think it's just the two of us), I ended up meeting my twin (I'll get some photos later), and I realized I kick butt at board games and COD4, (or maybe it's just my cousins aren't AS amazing as I thought, but they mastered DDR and GH so....)

lol life is fun, too bad it has to end tomorrow.

Instrumental Reluctancy

2008-11-23T22:22:00.002-05:00

Well I went back to Riverside High School to finish up the tryouts for Carolina Force, and I can finally say I did alright! My hand did start hurting like nonsense for some reason unknown to everyone, but other than that, I had an awesome experience, finally got the courage to talk to some people, (SO glad I knew some of Clemson's music or I might have never had a starting topic lol), and I definitely learned some new skills.

I don't know why, but I always have these ideas for blogs but I fail to bother to type them up. And carrying around a notebook to hold ideas doesn't work for me, wonder why.... But I was thinking recently..... Why are people so reluctant to play an instrument?

One day, the guidance counselor came to our classroom and spoke about our college requirements. And she mentioned that the district had created a new requirement for a fine arts credit, which everyone started moaning and yelling about. Of course, I was jumping for joy and I already had my art credits (still would have taken the class). But a few days later, my parade was rained on and they said it was no longer required.

I really wish fine arts would get its requirement so it would AT LEAST be equal to the level of PE, and it pissed me off that people don't want to take up ANY form of art, I mean, fuck, I'm sure the district would have taken AP Music Theory as an art class, and people complained "But I don't know how to play an instrument....".... Shit, at that point, you're not even listening anymore. Art is a GREAT thing and people are gradually getting further away from it.

One of my friends from Carolina Force was talking about his school, and he was saying "I don't know why they call this the music hall, it's mostly String students and Chorus". I was beyond offended, but I couldn't really say anything because I was a guest at his school for a tryout. Those are some of the best forms of music! Come on, marching percussion is not the only thing in the world, and if I can get myself to realize that, then so can everyone else.

One of the books I stole from my band director said (paraphrase) that one of the best ways to enjoy music is to immerse yourself in one style of music. When you hear something for the first time, you hear the overall picture, which is cool. But when you truly listen in, you can find the finer details, the little ornaments on the side, and enjoy it on a much larger scale. And at the same time, you should try to listen to a variety of music, and find elements of it you like.

I think instrumental music does have at least ONE thing above any other fine art. Anyone can do it. It's not restricted to anyone who has the voice for singing or the hands for drawing. If you don't have the hands, you can play strings, woodwinds, or brass. If you don't have the lungs, you can play drums. I can't think of one instance where music itself would discriminate against anyone genuinely want to play music. Only moronic jerks would stop someone from playing music completely.
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Realistic Goals in Life
1. Become drum major of my band.
2. Take as many music theory, music history, directing, and composition classes as I can.
3. Become a high school band director for 10 years, while performing with other various groups, professional or not.
4. Get into a Fine Art's adminstrative position and rapidly expand the field.
5. All from step 3 to here, raise a child and teach her music from the age of 4 and have her TRULY enjoy it. Try to keep myself from ruining her life by making her a sheet reader, rather, make her enjoy and make her a music player.

Too many Asian parents make their children go to the piano to practice alone, one song, over and over, followed by meaningless scales. I vow that I will never do that. I promise I'll be there, making sure she understands the relevance of what s/he's learning and making sure s/he stops playing WHATEVER instrument they want to play when they want to!

I do have this one strange fear though, (thought of it in the shower, best place for thinking weird dreams). I have always wanted to adopt a child, I don't know why. I'm just sort of afraid..... what would happen if my wife ever gave birth to a deaf child? I just feel like they would miss too much of my life for me to be the good father I would want to be. I would still love the child, but don't you ever have that friend who you know would be MUCH happier in life if they had that one thing in common with you?

Just my two cents...

One - Two- Stop, NO CONTINUE! FEET!

2008-11-15T21:37:00.003-05:00

Yea, a lot of weird things rushed in my head this weekend, I went to the audition camp for Carolina Force, an audition-only independent winter drumline. If you didn't know, winter drumline is just like a drumline marching indoors with 100000000x the intensity because....
- Lack of a sissy band (lol kidding)
- Front ensemble has to make up for the sound, which is really amazing when the numbers are right.
- You're a lot closer to the audience.

You might laugh at the third one but apparently you can see the drummer's eyes from the audience, so presence is a lot more important.

I went with my friend Gerald, and we were really pumped and excited for it. Our drum teacher paid the $50 audition fee for us, our band teacher was taking us on a road trip, and we were going to get to drum with other guys and make friends for 2 days straight! We weren't late or anything

But I hated almost every second of it... They said a million things that completely contradicted my personality and drumming. And I just could not pay attention at all for some reason, probably staying up until midnight drumming killed me, and then having to wake up at 7:30 to do some more... yea....

I originally intended to tryout for snare. My thought process before the tryout...
"Hey, I haven't played mallets in awhile so why don't I tryout for snare?"
Thought process during the tryout.
"Hey, 9 other snare players, fuck this, let's go play mallets!"

Yea, it was not a pleasant experience.... Everyone could easily beat me in every instrument, I was literately last chair in that room. There was one other mallet player, Kevin from Riverside, another school my drum teacher teaches. We started on the same level but when it counted the most, he looked more prepared than me. I don't know how, I spent all my time focusing on getting better, I never spoke out of turn, I tried to focus, but at the end of the night, I'm sure they were thinking Kevin was better suited for the audition.

And during the breaks, they would not take a break, everyone was playing on their pad straight through it, it drove me insane.

I'm just not suited for music....

My never ending life's challenges.....

2008-11-10T17:25:00.002-05:00

Well I was watching my sister's friend piano lesson the other day (my mom thought it would be good for me to learn how to teach my sister). Mind you, she must have been what, 6? 7? But it was definitely one of the more interesting performances I've seen in my days, especially considering the age. But it wasn't really the piece that impressed me, it was something simplistic that even my sister could play. But she played it musically, something that I have never been able to do.

I've spent my life playing music, but I can't really say I've been musical about it. The notes, most of the time they are just random points on a Cartesian Graph, the dynamics, simple increase in decibels. But there is so much more to it. When I look at a piece of sheet music, I don't want to see notes, I want to be able to tell a story, a vivid image of what the composer was thinking.... The ups, the downs, the fast and slow parts of life....

Maybe I'm just crazy and composers really do write tunes just because it's catchy....

Life's uncalled for Rit. ....

2008-11-01T21:39:00.003-04:00

I couldn't really think of a title if you couldn't tell..... I'm trying to not let this blog completely fall apart so you know....

Catherine's doing a little better, elections are almost over, I did alright on my report card, and I'm supposedly getting a new computer to replace this crappy one that lags on Tetris. My life is going in a good direction, but I can't shake this feeling that I'm getting extremely tired, moody, and silent. Who knows, sometimes I really do believe it's easier for me to shut up and not bother with trying to connect with other people. Sometimes it really is a pain for me to attempt to conjure up random trivia just so I can make conversation. I live a rather shallow life, I play video games and play music. I try to expand but these people.... their geniuses, like... my heroes (besides Batman and the Green Latern!) and even they get tired, there's no way my personality could take it.

.... I'm probably just going to wait until the next big break so I can get out of this mood.... I'm almost sure I'll be out by then.... gosh time goes slow....

On other news, our school won 69-0 against Carolina, our big rival. Which I really could have cared less for, it was Halloween, I should have been at any of my friends' parties dancing my diginity away, chugging down gallons of melted chocolate, and slowly losing all my stored sense of sane-ness I had just hours before. But one thing REALLY bothered me that night.... and that was Carolina's sad, pathetic, piece-of-shit marching band.

3 bass drummers, 1 snare drummer, 1 tenor drummer, and a cymbal player. Plus some other random wind instruments you could hardly hear from a football field away. I really have nothing against small bands, sometimes they can present a better show than the bigger bands. It's just sometimes..... when unsupervised....

.... they go crazy and pull out krunk music.....

Krunk music is basically stuff that's really appealing, and I guess it'd be something you'd hear out of rap these days played on percussion instruments. I have nothing wrong with "appealing music", but the general image of this music is a dirty band who have no techical proficiency what-so-ever. And I was right...... but the problem was, before I got to Southside, they played this kind of music ALL the time.... So I'm glad Mr. Wingate cleaned it up, and I helped with a bit of the technical percussion stuff, but as soon as they heard the Carolina's drumline, all restraint of their internal beast was let loose, and for what, half the game, all I heard was "GOD DAMN, WHY WE PLAYIN THIS WHACK ASS SHIT?? WHY CAN'T WE PLAY SOME KRUNK STUFF!"

I should have known better when they asked to play Black music in band class. I'm sure Obama wouldn't approve of this...

So the Countdown begins.....

2008-10-20T14:07:00.003-04:00

Five days until my birthday, I don't really think we should be celebrating a birthday because of the fact you were born, I mean heck, if that was the case, we should be giving mom a party, not the other way around. Childbirth isn't easy you know....

I think a birthday is a good day to look back on what you've been doing, and pat yourself on the back for not killing yourself in the process. It's been a rough year despite all my attempts to make it easy by slacking. And I think New Year's resolutions should be moved onto your birthday, it seems more fitting as your birthday is an actual milestone to your life while New Year's only brings another chance to be drunk if your birthday allows.....

Let's see if I can make 10 goals to do when I finally hit 17, (I'm 15 right now)
1. Play a musical duet with anyone at all.
2. Make an honor band.
3. Become drum major (conductor) of my band.
4. Write a drill writing program that will simulate a marching band.
5. Write a whole show using number 4 and my music.
6. Find more goals that don't require music.
7. Learn how to dance
8. Learn Japanese
9. Fall intensely in love with someone so much that I would run away with them if they asked me.
10. Quit being such a jackass (most of the time)

Yea, pretty much after 5 I actually had to work hard to make those goals, I'm sure I have more somewhere in my head though, but those are the major ones......

Just to let you guys know, I never want a printer as a gift.... (darn you dad....).

The uncertanty of a predicted afterthought....

2008-10-19T12:42:00.002-04:00

Well we managed to grasp 2nd best drumline out of our class yesterday at the Shelby, NC marching band competition. Beaten by Polk County *again*, which I'm not too mad over. Their drumline wasn't all that from what I saw, but they were interesting. (Every year, ONE band HAS to do a Christmas theme, this year that was them, annoys me =.=)

There is one thing that bothers me though...... one thing I'll never be able to shake out of my mind.....

How in the world are you going to be serious on the day of a competition and not during practice?

I know, how weird is it that someone being serious would bother me? It's mainly the inconsistency..... If you didn't know, Takia (last year's snare player and this year's first bass player) actually said some smart tips on what to do during the competition. She wanted to stretch before playing, she wanted us to mark time, she wanted us to stand up on our toes while we were backwards marching. All common sense.

But last I checked, she has never followed through with those tips before. She got into an argument with the instructor, got kicked out of band practice multiple times, and even argued with me. Every day, she complains about how she doesn't want to be there, and she has to go to the bathroom every five seconds, which can only lead me to assume she's calling someone on her cell everyday. Does she honestly think that if she gets serious five minutes before performing that she'll instantly jump 30 points in her scores?

Everyone knows the phrase "Practice the way you want to perform", I mean, really..... I know Mauldin wasn't a super serious band back when I was there, but we knew when to be serious. I personally would love to be in a super strict band, where talking actually got you push ups, mistakes got you push ups. A band where even I would get in trouble, that would be fun! But noooooooooooooooooooooooo...... leniancy sucks....

I don't want to have the hard music of a higher level band, I just want the discipline that comes with it.

Beautiful Poetry from the Hands that Brought you South Park!

2008-10-16T22:53:00.002-04:00

lol if you've ever seen a Korean soap opera, you should definitely check out Bobby Lee's Korean Soap Operas on MadTV *youtube!*, it's sorta retarded at the beginning but most people don't realize there are 4 parts so they just think the single skit is idiotic >.<

But even though it was a skit, I thought some of the scripting was pretty cute! Don't read this if you plan to watch the video, read it afterwards. If not, then just go ahead.

Her eyes would drift away from mine.
Her voice would sound as if she were talking to someone else.
And a chill seemed to come off her soul, like a vapor of loneliness, freezing us both.
She was like a mysterious planet that one cannot ever reach
or even look at through the largest telescope man could ever build.
She was a boat over floating so far over the horizon that she looked like a speck,
a piece of dust on the end of the finest point.
A rare bird unlike anything anyone has ever seen,
yet so shy and reserved
that even the caretaker who loves her can't get a moment of attention or warmth
or even hear the faint trill of thankfulness...
only the blank stare of a feathered mystery.
Everything I ever tried to do for her was lost in the dry, parched wind of her distance,
my gestures bouncing off her steel heart.
And I tried and I tried and failed every time.
I could sadly surmise that she was not altogether happy with me
and finding great joy in the arms of another.
I meditated, and remained silent. But nothing brought me clarity.
Until one day, it happened....

The fun and joy of a good IDE!

2008-10-12T13:25:00.002-04:00

Table of Content
Section 1: HTML vs Java
Section 2: Me ranting on how Javascript is idiotic
Section 3: Me ranting on how pissed off I am at the whole musical world.

Well with the utter failure of my old website, I'm messing around with the HTML of this blog to get my "artsy code" fix until a new project spurs my mind. I'm not going to say I hate the looks of the default layouts Blogger.com gives you, I actually like them a lot. It's just the fact that they ARE default layouts sort of annoys me, like OMG THIS SITE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MINE! (Yea, how weird was it that my dad chose the same layout as me?)

Well, despite my utter hatred of my teacher's teaching style, I've come to liking java a lot. And there's one thing that I really love about java that I'm sure HTML will never have:
A community that actually agrees on how to style and comment your code.

HTML has become murderous to my eyes for some reason, I used to be able to look at code all day long but the utter lack of indention just annoys me for some reason. Of course, I know there's no systematic way of organizing HTML, It would just be impossible to make one that would fit all practical purposes.

And the fact that CSS is one of the last things they teach in HTML bothers me as well. (Well, I've never taken an HTML class but this is how online tutorials are layed out.) CSS is the future, if there is anything I would have done better in my life, I would have started learning CSS before learning HTML.

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I've been trying to get a Javascript music playlist on this blog all day. I know I could run out and easily get a flash playlist but this is fun; actually having to apply something you're learning to something practical. Well, it WAS fun until I ran into a million problems. The main thing is cross-browser compatibility, which is never fun in HTML or Javascript. So I found a playlist code which worked in IE, but not Firefox. (which is working as of now, check it out, some pretty decent music). So I tried to use my "If IE, then...." and "Else, then..." statements. Which made the IE player break, so I took it out and now I'm trying to figure if I can set up an int x, which will increase by one everytime the player is loaded, and if the remainder of x/2=0, then it will play one song, else, it'll play a different song.

Yea, I hate it.

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Still missing Catherine, the only person in the whole entire freaking band who I'd be able to sit by comfortably without having to shut them up so I could watch the show. (btw, when you perform in a contest, you have to watch the remaining shows from the back of the field). So it's bad enough I have to watch a marching band show from level ground instead of a higher ground in the front, I have to listen to my band talk non-stop about idiotic things. So let's just say I had a major headache most of the night.

5th out of 5 bands. The night honestly couldn't have gotten any better.

I'm probably not set out to be any form of artist, it always seems that way. Whatever I do, I can't get a superior, I can't make an honors band, it's just pathetic. I just can't make music musical! It's so retarded! I can sorta read music and I know basic techniques to get my way around instruments. But nothing I do makes anyone appreciate music more than they did before hearing me.

Slightly depressed and I've have yet to do Paddenburg's reflection yet, prepare to see a slightly down Daniel tomorrow.

A happy blog for a change.....

2008-10-10T20:33:00.003-04:00

You want to know the best way to make me happy? Give me a good pair of drumsticks, honestly, the max you could spend is $20 and I'd love you for years. I finally got my old pair of drumsticks from my hand and I honestly had no idea what the hell I was doing before, but drumming began to feel orgasmic again. When you're a drummer, a new pair of sticks can be like the cleansing of the soul or it can be like dragging 10 billion boulders through the fires of Hell. Just depending.

Oh, and second best way to make me happy is just holding my hands, maybe I'm just weird, but my hands are super sensitive to everything, maybe that's why I like drumming and Rubik's cubing. Even the crunch of an old keyboard brings nostalgia and joy into my life.

Just telling you guys this to let you know what to do when I try to do something drastic due to some spontaneous depression. Plus it's relaxing.

I see a lot of my friends who always act tired and are always depressed, which sort of pisses me off. I know you have your ups and downs but you shouldn't ALWAYS be tired or depressed. Some of you IB kiddos care too much, and you're missing out on some of the great things in life, like hmm... I don't know, sleep? I understand you're worried about making top 1% of the class but honestly, it worries me when I wake up at 6:30, log on to facebook, and see people say "oh, finally finished my essay" 4 hours earlier.

Sleep is free and relaxing, you should enjoy it rather than trying to avoid it.

A lot of times I hate my blogging: it serves no real value to anyone but myself. I rant and a lot of times my blogs turn into hate sites so I have this feeling that blogging actually makes me want to hate stuff in order to have material. And when I look back, I feel extremely idiotic. But Lizzie said that blogging is really good for your mental health, so I'm giving it another shot, at least for tonight.

Rough week....

2008-06-28T09:33:00.002-04:00

So the last week or so, I've just been hanging with family... they originally came down to take care of my dad but he passed away and so did my grandpa, so then my mom's side of the family came down too. My dad had lung cancer and his body rejected the chemotherapy. I'm not exactly sure what happened with my grandpa, I know he was in the hospital though. It sucks waking up at 6:30 AM, knowing that both your dad and grandpa died, two hours apart from each other...

Guess I'm not sad though, I knew it was going to happen. My dad was too weak to do anything for himself so I guess its better he's out of this pain. My cousin's think I'm a jackass for predicting my dad's death, (OMG DANIEL, YOU BETTER SHAPE UP AND CARE MORE) but I was just being realistic.... I mean honestly... 10 people trying to take care of him, what's a small teen child gonna do?

So I found out I actually have a cousin my age on my mom's side of the family (yea, who knew?). Her name's Noah and she's extremely cool... It's probably the fact that I can talk about perverted stuff and she'll actually agree with me, not the point though. Plus she's cute and single for all my guy friends out there!

lol I don't know... a lot of Americans went to both my dad's and grandpa's funeral. It was pretty surprising, I mean, I knew my dad was pretty popular at work but even my grandpa had a few, and he was pretty shut in as far as Americans go (or so I thought?). Andrew and his family came, which was really nice, but I kind of feel sorry for the Americans, just because 2/3 of my dad's funeral was in Vietnamese and all of my grandpa's funeral was in Vietnamese besides my Uncle Ahn's (sp?) speech. It was weird hearing English after a 2 hour mass! Jeeze people...

The thing I really hate about funerals is that people ALWAYS say the same things...
- Oh my gosh, are you alright?
- I'm so sorry about your loses
- If there's anything I can do for you, please don't hesitate to ask.
I'm not bashing you people for saying it, I mean, its nice, but when you repeat it over and over, its more depressing than the actual event itself...

If you saw my family, no one is TOO terribly depressed. We actually make jokes, like on my grandma's grave, it says "Loving mother, grandmother, and wife". Well we haven't picked one for my grandpa yet, we were thinking of "Good luck at the casinos!", just because he loved to gamble so much. And for my dad, just because he had lung cancer, we were gonna put "Smoke 'em if you got 'em!" (lol I was literaltly cracking up because of that). I know its slightly disrespectful to talk about them like that, but hey.... you're not exactly making me feel any better by using the lines a paragraph above so you mind as well try comedy...

I didn't really think my family liked grandpa... He was always begging for money, spent that money on the lottery, and walked to fast food restraunts every day, no matter how far it was.... But now, everyone just thinks he was a fun dad.... I don't know, maybe they're just saying that so we won't hate him at his funeral, maybe they mean it... But The Great Gatsby gave me the coolest quote about death....

"Learn to respect friends while they are living rather than while they are dead"
- Wolfshiem

Actually, I'm not totally sure that's even the quote, I kind of paraphrased it (damn, wish I had the book).

On a side note, Noah thinks I should move to Dallas, Texas.... which sounded pretty interesting, she's like.. the first cousin that I could actually stand hanging out with for more than an hour, (besides Vivian, but she's like, 10 and SOOOOO ADORABLE!) and I gave it some thought.... I wouldn't mind moving, I'm pretty bored with my situation right now, other than Catherine (she's still off in China x_x), plus the drumlines in Texas KICKASS! (or so I've heard..) and Noah's school is top 4 in the nation so... I probably don't want to move completely, I just need to see some new faces, I mean, honestly...

First post not about music and it turned out alright..

Musical Cars!

2008-06-03T22:33:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I think musical creativity is best shown through non-traditional instruments. Of course, this gets annoying when everyone does these cliche novelty percussion ensembles where EVERYONE does something with a trash can. Yes, those annoy me to no end. That, and bar stools, which is kind of cool for 1 minute, but I don't want a whole piece to be like that. But I think cars are an amazing place to start noticing these phenomenons if you haven't done so already.

Take your turn signal. Tick, tock, and when you're a percussionist, you can't just help but beat to this metronome. Of course, I used to play melodic songs to the tempo, but I'm out of songs to do x_x.

And while your turn signal is on, try to find another car that matches EXACTLY the same tempo as your car. I dare you, it's a challenge. You'll think it matches one second and then it goes off, its weird. Just shows how much one BPM can completely change a piece of music, especially as far as percussion goes.

And this one is theoretical, but I just thought of it so... The theory of relativity states that speed is relative to the position of the viewer. Imagine if you could get the lines on the side of the road to beep on and off on the same tempo as your car radio just by shifting your position.... To slow it down, you'd pick a longer distance to look, such as over your dashboard, and to speed it up, you'd pick a distance closer like your side window. Creating a balance between the two could create a pretty cool effect I'd imagine (but you'd look like an idiots to your parents. I don't suggest trying to look through THEIR window as their driving...)
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As far as other music news goes, I'm pissed off at music history freaks and their narrow-mindedness. I recently saw a video for "Moonlight Sonata- Jazzed Version", which sounded pretty interesting, so I clicked on it and I was right, but the Youtube comments were horrendous. They acted like improvising classical music is a blasphemy towards the musical gods....

For one, shut the hell up, its decent music... Had Beethoven never written Moonlight Sonata and this guy just happened to compose a piece like that, the piece would have been praised as a contemporary classic, but NOOOO, just because its a remake, its shot down in the darkness....

btw, its here if you want to check it out

Ha I'm bored..

Solos are only so-so....

2008-06-01T20:13:00.002-04:00

I absolutely want to murder whoever thought of making solos. The random "feature" kind of solo is cool, where everyone is laid back while the guy does his thing, but having only one person play through a whole piece or track SUCKS. It's SOOOOOOOOO boring and linear, with no support what so ever..... Some girl played a violin at this award ceremony I went to, the solo went on for five minutes it felt like. Now, I'm not hating on her personally, I thought she played amazingly and her technique is phenomenal, but PLEASE, don't ever do solos at places where I'm locked in and can't get out....

Of course, the worst type of solo by far is the drum solo, which is surprising to come out of a percussionist, but I've tried looking for some decent ones, and only a few come to mind. I mean, I can't blame them, its tough to sound musical on a drum. This leads to two results: Blazing speeds or stick tricks.

The speed thing gets old just about as fast as it is.... well... fast.... it's mildly impressive, I mean heck, I don't do it, but the reason it's only mildly is because everyone else does.... While the drummer does 32nd notes at 200 BPM, everyone is screaming "YEAH!" while I'm just dully watching in amazement at how people can actually be entertained with this kind of nonsense. THERE IS NO MUSICALITY TO STRAIGHT 32ND NOTES, GET OVER IT.

And stick tricks, cheap way to people's hearts.... yes, its also relatively entertaining to watch, but it also leads to slacking off in form of musical pleasure..... Of course, maybe its just me, I'm without words to describe how bored I am of most percussion, there are random times I'll love picking up some sticks, but this is insanity....

Bring back the funk! The slow, laid back grooves that we all used to love until metal and rock ruined it for us.

Other than that, life is going great btw!

Drumming- Too cool for school....

2008-05-24T18:31:00.005-04:00

(R rated language coming up probably, not going to bother censoring)

One of our drummers last Friday got pissed because Mr. Wingate made me replace her on the graduation piece. I was kind of pissed too, I really wanted to just relax and play my easy little cymbal part, but nooooooo, she just HAD to screw it up for me.

Ha, I'm just kidding, but anyways, so yea, her name is Takia, she was an old member from the old Southside even though she's a freshman, guess she played during her eighth grade year, though it did her no good. I've only seen the old Southside play once at Homecoming, and just off of that and other assumptions I've made from my own experience, I can safely say it would have been better to have never drummed with them. It was practically a negative year's worth of experience.

She was having trouble with quarter notes, let me repeat, QUARTER NOTES. You know, the one that just stays on the beat?? I don't even know how.... The only thing that could have been SLIGHTLY difficult was the drag/ruff. For those not familiar with drums, a drag is two grace notes followed by a tap, written like this. But that's not hard, its pretty self explanatory on the music..... And the other piece, its a simple military march.... you know, 1 and uh 2 and uh.... with an occasional roll? Her excuse is, "Hey, I keep telling you that I have never read music before".

First of all, SHUT THE HELL UP, I am so damn tired of that excuse. SHE REFUSES TO READ THE MUSIC. You know how I know? She plays during the rests, any moron can tell..... I can't believe I actually put up a whole year of her, honestly, I would have kicked her off the drum line if I could, I could have picked up any IB kid and taught them how to drum in a month, and they would have easily surpassed her.... Honestly, I could have put up with her not reading if she actually played ANY good naturally, but there are only a handful in the world who can do that, and her attitude sucks, so I don't know why Mr. Wingate bothers holding onto her.
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There's another thing bothering me in the drumming world, my very own teacher.... Not Mr. Wingate, but our instructor, Mr. Irish.... he said I was holding my sticks "awkwardly". He criticized each and everyone of the snare players for their grip..... He says the stick should rest on the second and third bend of the ring finger.... I think that's just stupid, because EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE has been taught to rest the stick on the cuticle of their nails.... All the players on our line hates his grip, everyone on the line hates how he tapes his sticks (vertically instead of horizontally, what the heck was that about?) and everyone hates how he talks so damn much that we all want to die....

But I can't do anything about it...... I can't be "Shut up, Mr. Wingate teaches faster than you do, go find another job", no..... I ruined myself by being nice and happy all the time, instead of being realistic..... So I guess I'll just put up with it.... I really hope we step it up another level so we can finally fire this motivational teacher and actually get a technicality teacher...

Just not one of my best nights....

2008-04-29T21:50:00.002-04:00

Tonight was the night of the concert, and it was alright, not great, not bad, just alright..... The guitar ensemble did three songs, strings did four, and we did three band songs and my piece, Langham Creek, for the percussion ensemble. I honestly had no idea what the heck I was thinking when I named it, but I still can't think of a replacement name. At first, it was because it was based on another high school's ensemble, but it doesn't really fit the mood of the song! Oh well, too late now to replace the name.

We were originally working on another percussion ensemble called "Short Circuit", (click to here audio). But despite it being a novelty percussion ensemble (meaning the use of entertainment over the use of actual music), it took us 3 months to get it. I mean, yea, it was a cool piece but one, we sounded like crap, two, the drums sounded like crap, and three, it was just a plain boring piece. So I screwed around with my own piece.

The main idea of my piece was to get a solo for every mallet player. I saw how people liked what we did for the Christmas concert so I tried to emulate it. Too bad it didn't work out as well as I planned, guess missing two guitarist with amazing solos kinda loses a lot lol.

Now that the piece has been played for the last and final time (or so I hope), I will critic my own piece to death! lol jk, but really, Mr. Wingate made a small speech about me writing the piece over spring break, now that I look back, I really wish I hadn't screwed around so much with the timing -_-, there were so many mistakes that I wanted to clean up, but by the time I caught them, it was too late..... I'll be doing some final cleaning on the piece, send it off to some growing middle schools (maybe Mauldin Middle will take it next year, I'm waiting to watch their concert this year and see how the percussion ensembles are to see), and be done with it! Mr. Wingate suggested getting it cleaned up and actually published, but I don't think its just that kind of piece, or ever will be, that can be published and actually make it out to anything close to mainstream. Hopeful wishing though.....

Really, the piece was boring, and I thank God for having Zech on the drum set to save the piece. I did originally write a drum set part, but it was so generic, so "white", I couldn't stand it. I don't really have an ear for drum set, I can get through on some beats, but I just don't bother with practicing it as much (for the sake of my parents lol). Still, the piece was a little boring in some parts, and I really should have planned it out. I knew it was open, just by looking at the music score, but I really shouldn't have thought that having real instruments while rolling out each note would help much.

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Strings played really well, loved their rendition of "My Girl"! Best strings pop rendition ever! *not that I've heard many, I guess you could count 15 Girls Band lol* Too bad the band was being a jerk and talked the whole time. Random talking and one girls singing accompanied by strings..... not my favorite combination in the world. Still, cool concert and kudos to them! Though, Mr. McGee (sp?) did drop his baton once, which I found a little funny (anyone else catch that?) but still, he recovered!

My Thoughts on Internet Slang

2008-04-27T14:04:00.002-04:00

I've recently re-discovered one of my greatest downfalls: the invention of internet shorthand. Ranging from lol, rofl, lmao, omg, wtf, ftw, pwn, and any variation of the above, these truly destroyed who I am. Really, it created my personality, defining who I am, but utterly trapped me within its grasps in the process. I can't stop using them, in fear of changing who I am in the eyes of others, and the fact that the lack of such items feels wrong, yet the overuse continues to haunt my hindsight on things...

If you're one of my good friends, you know "lol" has got to be one of my most used phrases online. And its not that I find everything in the world slightly hilarious, (quite the contrary on my bad days), I find it necessary to put it into every dang sentence. It's actually lost its sentimental value of actually laughing and simply become a placeholder for slight happiness (which would be like "ha, cool", but I don't think they have an abbreviation for that feeling).

If you had no idea what "lol" meant, you would almost think it was like a needed punctuation mark in my speech. That's practically how often I use it. And I don't attempt to add an variety to it, I don't use rofl, lmao, any of those. This is because they don't fit my image, I know it sounds strange but I think we all pick up our own little internet preference. (like Catherine's use of smiley faces -_-)

Ah I'm amazingly bored.....

Been on my mind...

2008-03-17T19:27:00.003-04:00

Mr. Paddenberg... I don't even know if that's how you spell his name, but the guy makes me so angry sometimes.... I mean, yea, for what he is (my APWH teacher), he's a great guy, wouldn't want anyone else. But if he was just some other pedestrian, he'd piss me off so much.... I don't know if that made sense but let's see if some examples can clarify...

Some day the announcements were on and the said Mr. Wingate was looking for five pianist who could play in the front ensemble for next year. Randomly, Mr. P screams "COME ON, BECOME A REAL BAND AND LOSE THE PIANO!", which, to be honest, were my thoughts at the beginning of the year. But it was a legit request now because we actually have front ensemble (which I'll refer to as the "pit" from now on) instruments (like the instruments on the front sideline like xylophone, marimba, and bells). So I calmly explained to him it was for the xylophone and marimba, and he still insisted that you couldn't really hear them unless they were the metal ones, which apparently were a walking death trap in a thunderstorm.... And after every statement he just looked back at me with his grin, like he was saying "Isn't that so Daniel?" and for some reason all I could do was nod and smile.... weird...

Kind of ignorant statements, but hey, thats my view on it, coming from a percussionist of 4 years....

Most of the time I played on xylophone and bells for MMS, played for MHS on xylophone and bells, and played for Southside on marching snare, and I can say for sure that the Front ensemble are WAY underestimated, mainly for not being forced to march, which to ignorant people defeats the purpose of a marching band..... But I doubt that there are many decent bands without front ensemble, the sound just isn't as rich (but then again, most schools that don't have a pit generally don't have the numbers in the actual band to begin with...). And heck, even the pit learns how to march, but that fact never shows up in the general people's minds.... And our music (with a decent band directer) is generally harder than the other instruments, because we cover for what you mess up....

And its just hella fun to watch them play upclose, but there's other stuff about him that bothers me, but maybe for another day...

Vietnamese Food.....

2008-03-13T21:45:00.002-04:00

I don't know if it's just my family or not, Vietnamese food is a pathetic attempt at a meal..... For those who don't know, most of the time I'm stuck eating a bowl of rice with a side of meat: generally fish, different types of beef, occasionally pork (I hate the stuff), and maybe "hay". Yea, what the horses eat..... Rice is also combined with various vegetable soups, and every once in awhile, we have noodles, and Vietnamese "pancakes".

Honestly, my parents don't know what they are talking about when they called these things pancakes. They call two different things Viet. pancakes, one, sticky green thing that (we, as American Viets) pour syrup over (when you're supposed to it it plain) and some yellow thing, which is actually a variation of an omelet. This is what happens when you try to teach Vietnamese to a 15 year old. If you ever want to know, learning a language SUCKS at this age....

The major problem with Vietnamese food is that a lot of it is finger foods. Being messy is inevitable, so I hate inviting my friends to dinner. Another thing that annoys me is that my mom always adds the spice AFTER you cook it. Most chefs find it as an insult to add spice after the food has been served. In my mom's case, either you add spice or you choke it down....

Plus all the finger food are small things that you have to eat a lot to be full. It's like we'll have duck, and there is no "definate" end of the meal. You continue to take bits off the duck, we always have left overs, and no matter how much you eat, you never feel full.

(01) Thinking- Monotony

2008-03-13T01:16:00.000-04:00

"Canon in D, a slow, repeating melody that gradually changes over time. Wouldn't life be great if it was like that?"
- Paraphrase from Kanon (yes, spelling is right)

We undergo several drastic transitions in styles as we go through life: Childhood, teens, adulthood, and all the fun stuff in between. But you ever feel like life is so monotonous? It's always the same thing over and over, for 5 years in preschool, 5 years in elementary school, 3 years in middle school, 3 (or 4?) years in high school, and then college/ adulthood. We just run through life on a schedule and as much as we as we try to change things up, it still stays the same until we reach the end of the phrase. Like Michal, who ran away and caused a commotion, eventually returned to this dull lifestyle. Even if he didn't return, he'd probably live the same lifestyle up there. Yea, we do learn more everyday, both that progress is generally linear with no drastic change. There are certain anomalies that occur in the surrounding setting, but other than that, we continue to progress in our destined fashion....

Say you were a poor person, who suddenly becomes rich. While looking at the big picture, is this anything relatively new? While the transition may be surprising, the effects bring nothing but 1 more rich person in the world. You're just going to end up doing what every other rich person in the world has done: attempt to get richer. Our mindset is just like that, and if not, you're grouped with the moralist. People say that each person is unique in their own way, but really we can all be categorized based on who we want to be and who we don't want to be. People say they are against stereotypes, join the club of all those who attempt to avoid it yet end up being victimized to it due to their mindset.

To a certain degree, all the reactions of society to every event have been preplanned.... it can be narrowed down into something like a factor tree. Most actions can be divided into beneficial, negative, or neutral. However, this all depends on the point of view. The system is basically used to foresee possible reactions, as to prepare yourself. An example would be 9/11.

Beneficial
New insight
Mourning

Negative
Parodies
False Accusation
Complaints

Neutral
News coverage for long periods of time

Even before an event actually happens, to some extent this system and some of these factors are used, pending on the degree of the event. It's inevitable, no matter how bad the event is, how sad it is, that people will joke about it, and no matter how good it is, someone will complain.

Eh, for not writing stuff on the internet for awhile, I think I got around my thoughts alright.....